What Can’t Mormons Do? Part 2: The Law of Chastity

The second commandment or standard that I want to discuss is the law of chastity. Aside from the Word of Wisdom (a few posts down), I think this is the commandment that people outside of the church have asked me about most often.

The law of chastity is pretty simple: you don’t have any sexual relations with anyone besides your husband or wife. This means no sex before marriage, and complete fidelity after marriage.  Since I’ve never heard anyone question why the latter half is true, I think I’ll focus my comments on why we don’t have sexual relations before marriage.
The Ten Commandments
The basic reason, as with any commandment, is that God has said not to.  Repeatedly.  “Thou shalt not commit adultery” was one of the ten commandments (Ex 20:24). The apostle James commanded the early church to “abstain from fornication” (Acts 15:20).  Through Joseph Smith, the Lord gave the commandment “Thou shalt love thy wife with all thy heart, and shalt cleave unto her and none else.” (D&C 42:24).  The commandment is everywhere, more prevalent than the commandment not to lie or not to steal.  So how does everyone write it off so easily?
First of all, I think people have this idea that that particular commandment is outdated. Like sure, back in the old days it was wrong to have premarital sex.  But look, times have changed.  It used to be taboo and practiced in secret, now it’s flaunted everywhere and practiced by everyone.  Our society is “enlightened” and “liberated” and obeying that commandment is just not cool.  I think even most devoutly religious people feel like they need an explanation for why the Lord would command something like that. Which brings me to the question I want to address:

Why would the Lord command something like that? That’s a good question. The commandment against fornication is different from a lot of other major commandments in that sex isn’t an inherently evil thing (unlike killing or stealing, for instance). It’s good. It’s natural. We have powerful, inherent desires that make us want to. Those desires are usually accompanied by good feelings of love and companionship towards someone else. So why would God make us this way, and then command us to hold that back? Also, there are few immediate physical consequences to anyone, so it’s easy to say “hey, no one gets hurt. What’s so bad about it?”

This is an issue I feel pretty strongly about, because it’s a question that I think a lot of counselors and youth leaders of all faiths kind of scoot around. Pamphlets and lessons are filled with horrifying facts about AIDS and gonorrhea and lives ruined by unwanted pregnancies or abortions. While these things are definitely terrible side effects, they’re honestly not the reason. They can’t be! Even if you could ensure that you would never get an STD or an unwanted pregnancy, it still wouldn’t be okay.

This is where I think Mormonism has something to offer the world. For starters, I think we live it more strictly: in a recent study, only about 3-4% of unmarried students at Brigham Young University reported having ever had sexual intercourse (BYU Studies vol 46 no. 3), compared to the 20-35% reported from a study of two evangelical schools with similar moral standards. Both are way below the national average of around 70-80%, but I think the difference is worth noting. What is the difference? Having lived around a lot of devout evangelicals and devout Mormons, I’m going to say it’s not the level of “devoutness”. I think it’s a different understanding of why the Lord commands us not to, which is unique to Mormon theology.
Most of what I’m about to say comes from a talk given by an Apostle, Elder Jeffrey R. Holland, entitled “Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments,” which can be found here. I suggest that you read it, because it’s a million times better than this post. It was given by a man who is set apart to be a spokesman for the Lord, and it’s one of the only such talks dealing with the doctrine surrounding sexual intimacy.

davinciThe body is sacred. Part of the reason sexual sin is so bad, is that we consider the body to be a part of the eternal soul. This was revealed to Joseph Smith in what is now D&C section 88: “The spirit and the body are the soul of man.” It may not sound like much, but it’s actually pretty earth shattering. Think about it.  The reasons I gather most people consider premarital sex bad (if anyone still does) comes from these old beliefs that the body is base and evil, while the spirit is high and noble. Physical desires are to be brutally subdued and mastered. Physical gratification is somehow bad. Celibacy is the high road. Taken to the extreme, people start whipping themselves or sit on poles for 37 years, trying to reach spiritual heights by degrading the physical body.

We reject this idea. The body is something to be treasured. When we are resurrected, it will be like Jesus, with a physical body (Luke 24:39). That’s why Paul wrote: “flee fornication…he that commiteth fornication sinneth against his own body.” Messing around with your body is messing around with your soul.

“Know ye not that your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are not your own? For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s” (1 Cor 6).

It’s my body, right? Isn’t it my own business? Paul responds with a resounding no. Ye are not your own, for ye are bought with a price. The Savior has bought us–redeemed us with his blood, and that gives Him every right to command us when and how to use it. Our souls are his:  spirit and body both.

Total union. Sexual intimacy is one of the highest and most sacred forms of union between a man and a woman. It’s the symbol of the union of “their hearts, their hopes, their lives, their family, their future, their everything.” I can’t say it better than Elder Holland:

“But such a total, virtually unbreakable union, such an unyielding commitment between a man and a woman, can only come with the proximity and permanence afforded in a marriage covenant, with the union of all that they possess–their very hearts and minds, all their days and all their dreams. They work together, they cry together, they enjoy Brahms and Beethoven and breakfast together, they sacrifice and save and live together for all the abundance that such a totally intimate life provides such a couple. And the external symbol of that union, the physical manifestation of what is a far deeper spiritual and metaphysical bonding, is the physical blending that is part of–indeed, a most beautiful and gratifying expression of–that larger, more complete union of eternal purpose and promise” (Holland, Of Souls, Symbols, and Sacraments).

The Lord wants us to save that most precious and committed of physical unions for the only relationship committed enough to supply the corresponding spiritual and emotional bond: marriage. To those who ask “what about in a serious, committed relationship?” the answer is, “Absolutely.  And that relationship is marriage.” Really, the only reason I can think of not to get married is because you’re really not that committed. You’re not absolutely positive you want to be with that person forever, so you don’t want to take that final permanent step (which is fine; don’t rush it). But sex is a symbol of total commitment, and it’s not total commitment without marriage.
A good part of our society firmly believes that a couple needs to live together to “get used to each other,” or to see if they’re truly compatible.  Sorry, but that’s the opposite of commitment. And even though it sounds really reasonable, it doesn’t work, practically or spiritually. It’s well documented that cohabitation before marriage is correlated with significantly higher divorce rates (about twice as high in the above-linked study). You just need total commitment.

A sacred act. A third reason, and probably the most important of the three, is that sexual intimacy is not only a symbol of union, it’s a sacred act in and of itself. Again, I’ll defer to Elder Holland:

“. . .sexual union is also, in its own profound way, a very real sacrament of the highest order, a union not only of a man and a woman but very much the union of that man and woman with God. Indeed, if our definition of sacrament is that act of claiming and sharing and exercising God’s own inestimable power, then I know of virtually no other divine privilege so routinely given to us all–women or men, ordained or unordained, Latter-day Saint or non-Latter-day Saint–than the miraculous and majestic power of transmitting life, the unspeakable, unfathomable, unbroken power of procreation. . . I know of nothing so earth-shatteringly powerful and yet so universally and unstintingly given to us as the God-given power available in every one of us from our early teen years on to create a human body, that wonder of all wonders, a genetically and spiritually unique being never seen before in the history of the world and never to be duplicated again in all the ages of eternity–a child, your child–with eyes and ears and fingers and toes and a future of unspeakable grandeur.”

It cannot be said better. Sexual intimacy is the vehicle to create life, and as such, is one of the most sacred things we do on earth. Whether or not we actually create life with it, we still tap into that power, and doing so under any other circumstances than those for which it was ordained is a form of mocking the privilege God has given us. Would we run laughing into a sacrament service, overthrow the table, spill the bread and water on the floor and then run out? Of course not. So viewing the body as sacred, and sexual intimacy as a sacred act, why would you ever knowingly mess with that?

Just to conclude, I hope this helps to make a little more clear why Mormonism seems to be so strict when it comes to sexual intimacy. It boils down to a respect for sacred things. I also understand that the law of chastity sounds completely out of place right now in the world. But it doesn’t matter; it’s true. And that is why I follow it.

<<Part 1: The Word of Wisdom>>                   <<Part 3: The Sabbath Day>>

Life After Death – Part 2

Most people tend to view life after death in the simple terms of heaven and hell. There is a place for the good people and a place for the bad people. In my last post, Life After Death Part 1, I explained that there is a temporary state between death and resurrection where everyone will be placed in prison or paradise. However, after resurrection (after Judgment Day), our eternal existence is somewhat more complex.

In 1832, Joseph Smith and Sidney Rigdon had been studying the bible and thinking.  Joseph wrote that they came to a realization: “It appeared self-evident from what truths were left, that if God rewarded every one according to the deeds done in the body, the term ‘Heaven,’ as intended for the Saints’ eternal home, must include more kingdoms than one.” (Preface to Doctrine & Covenants 76, see also John 5:29) Subsequently, they beheld a vision in which the three degrees of glory were revealed to them. (Doctrine & Covenants 76)

kingdoms2

There is the Celestial Kingdom, the Terrestrial Kingdom, and the Telestial Kingdom. These are likened to the sun, the moon and the stars in their comparative glory. (Paul also spoke about these in 1 Corinthians 15:40-42) These kingdoms are varying degrees of “salvation”: everyone will receive salvation in some form or another, meaning all will be resurrected and placed in one of these kingdoms. The term “exaltation” however, is the highest form of salvation, reserved for those in the Celestial Kingdom.

Reserved for the most wicked is what is known as Outer Darkness. Those that will be cast into outer darkness and eternal damnation are those who deny the Holy Ghost. They are called “Sons of perdition” and this is not a title I would consider lightly. I do not believe it belongs to your “average” sinner. These are the baddest of the bad; they know the goodness of God and still choose to rebel.

Those in the Telestial Kingdom do not accept Christ as the Savior in this world or the Spirit World. I would say these are “bad” people. As verse 103 says, “These are they who are liars, and sorcerers, and adulterers, and whoremongers, and whosoever loves and makes a lie.”
Those in the Terrestrial Kingdom are good, decent people: people who are half-hearted, or complacent in their testimony. They are described as “honorable men of the earth who were blinded” and “not valiant in the testimony of Jesus.” (D&C 76:75,79)

christThose in the Celestial Kingdom are those who accept Christ as the Savior, those who are faithful in their testimony and continuously strive to do the will of the Lord. These are those who endure to the end and follow Christ’s admonition to “be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in Heaven is perfect” (Matt. 5:48) This is the goal to strive for and it requires a life of faith, obedience, and dedication as we grow into the divine role for which we are intended.

I believe the things we should take from this knowledge are: 1) God has a plan, and 2) While it is a simple plan, it accommodates the complexities and ranges of His children and their faithfulness. We will be rewarded according to our steadfastness in keeping our covenants as we attain our divine potential.

See “The Plan of Salvation

Salvation

Salvation is another of those context-specific words that requires defining every time you use it. For example, in the Old Testament ‘salvation’ is often used to mean deliverance from the Canaanites or Pharaoh’s army, or the Philistines.

The intent of the word is ‘rescue from some kind of harm or destruction,’ and when Mormons use it, salvation means both deliverance from the effects of Adam’s fall (mortality and death), and from the effects of our own sins (spiritual separation from God–including the influence of the Holy Ghost).
In our most recent general conference, an Apostle, Elder Russell M. Nelson said this:

To be saved—or to gain salvation—means to be saved from physical and spiritual death. Because of the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, all people will be resurrected and saved from physical death. People may also be saved from individual spiritual death through the Atonement of Jesus Christ, by their faith in Him, by living in obedience to the laws and ordinances of His gospel, and by serving Him.
Salvation and Exaltation, Russell M. Nelson

Note in his last sentence he emphasizes our role goes beyond faith in Christ. I see little difference between ‘having faith in Christ’ and ‘living in obedience to the laws and ordinances of His gospel, and serving Him,’ because my definition of faith (see Faith, below) includes such loyalty and devotion. (I believe Paul’s did, too).

I think Elder Nelson included these added elements for those who associate ‘faith’ with ‘belief,’ to be clear in his meaning. The ancient Apostle James did, too, when he said, “Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone. Yea, a man may say, Thou hast faith, and I have works: shew me thy faith without thy works, and I will shew thee my faith by my works” (James 2:17-18) Merely believing that Jesus Christ is the son of God is insufficient for salvation. The devils also believe, and tremble (see James 2:19).

Mormons also use another word, closely related to salvation: exaltation. This represents the highest potential we can reach (with God’s grace). It’s relationship to salvation is illustrated best through analogy:

We grow in two ways—removing negative weeds and cultivating positive flowers. The Savior’s grace blesses both parts—if we do our part. First and repeatedly we must uproot the weeds of sin and bad choices. It isn’t enough just to mow the weeds. Yank them out by the roots, repenting fully to satisfy the conditions of mercy. But being forgiven is only part of our growth. We are not just paying a debt. Our purpose is to become celestial beings. So once we’ve cleared our heartland, we must continually plant, weed, and nourish the seeds of divine qualities. And then as our sweat and discipline stretch us to meet His gifts, “the flow’rs of grace appear,” like hope and meekness. Even a tree of life can take root in this heart-garden, bearing fruit so sweet that it lightens all our burdens “through the joy of his Son.” And when the flower of charity blooms here, we will love others with the power of Christ’s own love.

Christ’s Atonement is at the very core of this plan. Without His dear, dear sacrifice, there would be no way home, no way to be together, no way to be like Him. He gave us all He had. Therefore, “how great is his joy,” when even one of us “gets it”—when we look up from the weed patch and turn our face to the Son.
The Atonement: All for All, Bruce C. Hafen

What Do Mormons Believe? — Faith

At least once a year, a priesthood quorum has a lesson on faith, and one of the first things spoken by the instructor is this question: “What is faith?”

It can be a confusing question to answer because everyone has his own definition. Among active latter-day saints, you often need to clarify your meaning of this word. Look outside of Mormonism, and it becomes even more vital.

“I Have Faith in God”
For instance, many people associate the word ‘belief’ with faith; “I have faith in God” to some means that they believe He exists. To others it is an affirmation that God will provide for them. They might phrase it, “I trust God will help me.” A slightly different, more mature way to say it is, “I trust God’s wisdom.” And still another meaning might be better put, “I am faithful to (or loyal to) God,” emphasizing our role in our relationship with Him. As you mature in the gospel, your understanding of faith expands to incorporate all of these elements (and possibly more), but it can be a hard topic to discuss if you’re on one level, and your friend is on another.

For this reason, it may shock some evangelicals (as well as some Mormons) that we actually do believe Paul when he said, “For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:” Ephesians 2:8 We have to really ask ourselves what Paul’s definition of faith included.  It might be more clearly rendered, “For by grace are ye saved through faithfulness…”

Faith in the Red Sox will not save your soul.  Have faith in Christ.Joseph Smith taught two kinds of faith: 1) Faith as a principle of action, and 2) Faith as a principle of power. Not just any faith has power to save you. You might have faith in toothpaste (believing it will clean your teeth), or you could have faith in the Red Sox (believing they can win the world series). These kinds of faith lead you to action (you’ll brush regularly, or you’ll buy a ticket to Fenway Park), but neither of these is associated with any kind of heavenly power.

Faith as a principle of power
The first principle of the gospel is not just faith, it is ‘faith in the Lord Jesus Christ’ (see Articles of Faith 4). He alone holds the keys to your salvation. Remember, though, that salvation is not a place or an event. It is a state of being. The plan of the gospel is developmental, and we are the ones who are supposed to develop.

Because He is gracious, Jesus will accept any sinners who turn to Him, but he doesn’t intend for them to remain sinners. He will send guidance through the Holy Ghost as well as messengers on the earth. The sinners will begin to feel the desire to become better. They will repent and promise the Lord (by covenant of baptism) to remain faithful to the end. Jesus will notice this leap of faith. He will send miracles (see Moroni 7:35-37). In this way, faith becomes a principle of power. As we continue to grow in faith, the Lord gladly and graciously opens the windows of heaven to pour out more and more blessings (see Malachi 3:10).

What Can’t Mormons Do? Part 1: The Word of Wisdom

The Lord encourages us to eat healthy foodsIf you’re not familiar with the faith, it can be awkward knowing what your Mormon friends can and can’t do. For instance, is there anything you shouldn’t serve them at a dinner? What can they do on Sundays? If you’re looking into joining the church, what lifestyle will you be expected to live?

Most commandments of the church coincide with basic laws of goodness that are common to all churches: don’t kill, don’t steal, don’t lie, don’t do drugs, don’t split infinitives, etc. So I’ll just discuss some major commandments which may be different from other churches, starting with the Word of Wisdom:

Mormons don’t use alcohol, tobacco, coffee, or tea. This is definitely the one people most want to know about. It comes from a much more general law of health given by the Lord to Joseph Smith in 1833. The entire revelation can be found here. We call it the Word of Wisdom because it was given as “a word of wisdom…for the benefit of the saints in zion.” In addition to some guidelines on eating healthy, it says that strong drinks (alcohol) and tobacco are not for the body, and neither are “hot drinks,” which was later clarified to mean just coffee and tea. (And by “tea” I mean green or black tea.)
coffee
So after I tell people about the Word of Wisdom, almost everyone follows up with the question: “Why?” Everyone knows that smoking will give you cancer. But isn’t a little bit of alcohol okay, even beneficial? And what’s so bad about coffee and tea?

There are 7.3 million studies and 2.02 trillion opinions about “what’s so bad about alcohol/coffee/tea.” Most people want some scientific proof of exactly which compound does exactly what, but honestly, it all just boils down to faith. The Lord doesn’t often provide a clear why with His commandments. If you believe the Lord said it, then you’ll just have to trust Him. Frankly, He would know. In 1833, when this revelation was given, everyone smoked and chewed tobacco, and there was absolutely no evidence that anything was bad about that. People living the Word of Wisdom just had to take it on faith for 150 years, and lucky for the ones that did. No doubt one day we will know why, but until then it’s just a desire to do what the Lord wants.

And the Lord promises all kinds of great things for living the Word of Wisdom. Things like “health in their navel and marrow in their bones” (an interesting way to put it) and “wisdom and great treasures of knowledge.” And look, it works! According to studies by Dr. Enstrom of UCLA, active Mormons live 8 to 11 years longer than the national average, with about half the mortality rate from cancer and heart disease.

It’s also important to note that health is not the only reason the revelation was given. It was given “In consequence of evils and designs which do and will exist in the hearts of conspiring men in the last days…” In that sense, it’s a warning against addiction. There are plenty of drug traffickers and companies that make a lot of money by creating and preying upon the addictions of others.

Coke contains addictive caffeine, but is not explicitly forbidden to Mormons.Can Mormons drink caffeine? I thought you’d never ask! There is actually no commandment or prohibition against drinking Coke, Pepsi, or any other caffeinated soft drink. However, there are quite a lot of Mormons who don’t, just out of a personal conviction. Many consider any addictive substance like caffeine to be implicitly against the Word of Wisdom. Among my devout Mormon friends, there is a pretty big range, from people who have never had a Coke to people who can’t live without Dr. Pepper. So it’s something to be aware of.

<<Part 2: The Law of Chastity>>                   <<Part 3: The Sabbath Day>>