Question: “I’m angry with God. I’ve always been a good person, helped others, compassionate, loving and caring. I’ve endured much pain in my life and heartache. I’ve reached a point in my life where I’m asking when will all of the turmoil and loss stop?? I’ve truly had enough. I’m beaten down and broken. I’m tired of always being the “Do Gooder” When is God going to lighten the load? Help with my burdens or please just give me a break! I truly can’t continue on like this.”
Not knowing the specific circumstances of your current slump I can only give a general overview of the goodness of God and possible suggestions on how to find peace in your situation. After reading your plea and thinking about it during church, we sang the song , “How Gentle God’s Command” (pg 125 in the LDS hymn book), please allow me to quote the first and third verses of the song: “How gentle God’s commands! How kind his precepts are! Come cast your burden on the Lord and trust his constant care…..Why should this anxious load Press down your weary mind? Haste to your Heavenly Father’s throne and sweet refreshment find”
In the Old Testament Job was put through some testing when God gave permission to Satan to test Job’s resolve. After losing his fortune, his family, and his health, he was further plagued by his supposed friends who came over to question him about what he had done wrong to warrant such trials. After about 40 chapters of arguing, with his friends and even his wife urging him to “curse God and die”, the Lord himself interjects into the dialogue with what some might regard as a rather terse explanation. In Job 40:7-8 “Gird up thy loins now like a man: I will demand of thee and declare thou unto me” “Wilt thou disannul my judgment? Wilt thou condemn me, that thou mayest be righteous? He then goes on to explain how we mortals can’t understand the majesty and design of God.
It seems to me that the path to greater peace in your life might be in turning MORE to God and trusting deeper in Him, rather than in being mad at him for the trials that are surrounding you. A suggestion is to go to the Lord in prayer and thank him for your trials. This might take a bit of a change in your thinking but from personal experience when I have tried this I have been given insight into what the bigger plan might be. His inspiration has also helped me recognize the source of the problem and given me insight as to how to deal with it. It also calms my troubled heart and allows me to caste my burdens on the Lord-and continue on with the job of doing good and helping others.
Keep up the good fight but rather than cursing God, hasten to his throne and be blest by his eternal goodness.