I’m in Love with a Mormon. What Now?

January 18, 2010
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We often receive questions from readers in our question box at right.  We have had several asking about romantic relationships between Mormons and non-Mormons and what they should do about it.  It’s our policy not to become involved in personal problems since we are not an advice column, but we do want to give some general principles touching this topic from an LDS perspective.  If you have a question that isn’t addressed here, ask about it in the comment section.

This was a question from a reader named Jim:

I have a general question…
I currently find myself in a rather difficult situation where I (a non member) of the Church of LDS have fallen for a devout believer. This is not a whimsical interest, we have known each other for nearly a year now, it is also a mutual interest, we have discussed our feelings for each and agree that there is a real potential for a relationship.

Now as I explained before she is a devout believer. This immediately creates some obvious obstacles given the fact that I am not a member, the main ones being:
No sex before marriage
No alcohol
No tea/coffee
Restricted activities on Sundays

Now I appreciate that these are only a few of the more general restrictions/guidelines that are in place. But we talked about them. Regarding the no sex before marriage I said why not give the relationship a go, then if in six months or so time we find out we are not that compatible, we could part, but if it is going very well we can continue. I have had sex before but have also been for long periods without it, and explained to her that if we were in a serious relationship that we both thought was heading somewhere I could handle holding off having sex until we were married.  As for the other things, I feel confident that we could work around them.

Anyway, just as it looked like we were reaching a situation where we might be about to give things a go, she told me about the temple, and how in order to be sealed/united together in this life and the next you need attend a ceremony there after your civil marriage ceremony in order for this to happen.  The catch…only LDS members can enter the temple.  Now this seems to have put the brakes on anything potentially happening between us. She’s of the view (as am I) that if we start dating it would become fairly serious and could well lead to marriage, but that as I am not a member we would not be able to be sealed united at her temple.  This idea crushes her I think.  She is also concerned about the difficulties of raising a family (she wants four children) that has a parent who is not a member of LDS.  She obviously wants to give her children the opportunity to join and is worried a non-member partner would make this difficult.  I have tried saying that I don’t think this would be such an issue, although not a member of LDS I do believe in god and live a clean lifestyle that would fit in with hers.

I think she is also worried that if she did have a crisis of faith, having a husband who was not a member would be difficult as he would not understand what she was going through and offer support/advice etc. on the subject.

So anyway, I have rambled on long enough, but I do have a couple of questions for you…
1) Is there any way of being sealed/united together in life without going through a temple
2) Are there strictly no exceptions whereby a non member could enter a temple?
3) And thirdly what sort of general advice could you give us concerning the situation we find ourselves in?

Thanks for your help


Here is my response:

Jim, thank you for your question. You seem to be very understanding and willing to be patient. I can’t say there are any easy answers, though.

1) Is there any way of being sealed/united together in life without going through a temple?

You can be united together in life without going through the temple, because the church recognizes all legal civil marriages as binding for the duration of life, “as long as you both shall live.” And such a relationship can be very rewarding, but the problem (as you already know) is that it falls short of the goal your paramour has dreamed of since she was young: “For time and for all eternity.”

It’s a powerful motivating force in my life.  My family plans on being together forever, and because of that we are interested in creating worthwhile bonds now.  It also helps us make good decisions in other areas of life, since we don’t want to diminish the family by letting our standards slip and losing our promise.  The promise is obtained through covenant with God and is known as “sealing.”

The ordinance of sealing is only performed in holy temples by men who have been authorized by God. It isn’t available anywhere else.

2) Are there strictly no exceptions whereby a non-member could enter a temple?

It’s a lovely thought to want to have this ceremony for the sake of your girlfriend, but even if you had the sealing, without you believing in it and devoting yourself to it, there is no more promise in it than a civil marriage.

Only those who have prepared themselves in every way may enter the temple, and this includes baptism for remission of sins by an authorized priest, and reception of the Holy Ghost. It also includes an interview with a Mormon bishop to ascertain faithfulness (do you hold to chastity, honesty, temperance, etc?). You must also be willing to enter into certain covenants with the Lord.

In short, even just being a member is not enough to enter the temple. I’m sorry. There are no exceptions allowing anyone unprepared (including non-members) into a temple.

3) And thirdly what sort of general advice could you give us concerning the situation we find ourselves in?

There are three distinct scenarios I can see. It depends on how strongly you and she are willing to pull.

  1. You marry civilly “until death do you part”
  2. You receive baptism and prepare yourself for eternal marriage.
  3. You split up.

#3 (split up) will happen if you decide against converting and she doesn’t give up her desire for eternal family. You might each still find a mate compatible with your ideals, so it’s not all bad, but obviously not what you want to hear.

#1 (civil marriage) is a possibility.  A quick visit to the local Justice of the Peace will have you married in the eyes of the law.  Plenty of latter-day saints belong to part-member families and many have found a way to “make it work,” but the heart of the issue isn’t the same as any other interfaith marriage.  It goes beyond being able to understand your spouse’s religion and deciding on where to take the kids on Sunday.  To a Mormon, marriage itself is a fundamental part of the gospel and the crowning glory associated with salvation.

She would see a civil marriage as compromising her long-standing commitment to herself and to God to be sealed for all eternity.  It would certainly be difficult for her, as you pointed out, Jim.  She may harbor secret hopes that you will eventually come around and join the Church after perhaps years of marriage; also, after your death she may wish to have you sealed to her by proxy — after a baptism for the dead. But even that is contingent on your posthumous desire for it. If you didn’t want it in life, it’s unlikely you’ll change your mind the minute you die. And without your permission, it will not be binding.

I do not endorse a civil interfaith marriage with a Mormon.  Not for you or anyone that is in any position to choose it.  The Mormon usually leads life pining for a relationship with eternal promise and despairing that it isn’t happening; often they let themselves slip away from God.  The non-Mormon feels constant pressure to convert and becomes annoyed that the problem doesn’t go away.  I’ve seen too many problem relationships.  If this heartache can be prevented, I advocate preventing it.

Such a marriage does not solve the problem you are facing right now, Jim.  It only delays solving it.  It will present you every morning with the same dilemma:  ask her to surrender hope for an eternal family, get yourself to convert, or dissolve the relationship.  Avoiding the question is to choose the first option.

#2 (eternal marriage) can happen if you allow yourself to investigate the religion seriously. This is the path that I advise. Invite the missionaries over for a few lessons and read the Book of Mormon with them.  After learning a bit more about the Church and understanding why we believe the things we do, you might find your original notions of Mormonism misplaced.  People usually find the missionaries’ lessons much more substantive and credible than they anticipate.

You indicated that you have faith in God, which is essential. Believe that He will answer your prayers, and ask Him whether you should join.  Believe that He will give you the desire for eternal family that will lead you to unite with her forever.

Jim, I hope I’ve added some clarity to your dilemma. I hope you can see it from her side as well. Meditate on it and pray for guidance. I know the Lord will answer. He answers my prayers frequently.

I’d also invite you to look around at our website. You might find some more answers there. And you are always welcome to email me directly. In fact, I’d very much like to know what you decide.


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31 Responses to “I’m in Love with a Mormon. What Now?”

  1. Jim, I can tell how much you care for her. I think it’s important to understand the doctrine, and seek to understand where she’s coming from. This is a beautiful post from a different (though still ultimately faithful, and definitely joyful) perspective on Mormon interfaith marriage. It’s definitely something you should pray and ponder about, and I wish you well.

  2. I think this article was very well-put. I definitely agree with the part where he pointed out that marriage doesn’t solve the problem; it only magnifies it.

  3. Jim,
    I’m not LDS and I married a wonderful Mormon girl. If you’d like to contact me, I’d be happy to answer any questions.

  4. Forgot to give my e-mail address. [email protected]

  5. lulu

    very well put.

    there is a lot of heartache that goes along with marrying a person who isn’t mormon. she will feel bad and you will feel pressured.

    if jim has no desire or hope of looking into the Gospel for himself, it’s better for this relationship to end as painful as that might sound.

  6. Bus Gillespie

    While I agree with all that has been said allow me to give a little longer perspective to the situation. Currently in the courtship phase of idealistic love there is a feeling that love will conquer all. However should the couple get married and have a life together the differences that were assumed to be so trivial become magnified and a source of irritation.
    Assuming that the husband stays a non-Mormon and the wife continues in her church activity, think about the ramifications of these things: The wife must retain a tenth of her income in order to pay tithing in order to stay eligible for temple attendance. The wife needs to go out with another women every month to visit other women assigned to them. The wife needs to invite hometeachers (male priesthood holders) into her home once a month for a lesson [they will certainly be interested in sharing their message with the husband as well]. The wife goes out every Sunday for 3 hours of meetings, and then comes home sad that her husband is keeping her and her children from becoming an eternal family and sharing in the full blessings the church has to offer.
    These are just a few of the things that can work to separate a husband and wife if they aren’t united in their religious belief, and I haven’t even mentioned how the children should be raised. I hope that careful consideration will be given in continuing the relationship and that extensive study be applied to understand the beliefs of each other before committing to marriage.

  7. I would endorse the last comment from Bus Gillespie. It is imperative that both she and he understand the basics of each other’s faith tradition before they tie the knot, not after, which happened in my case.

  8. Kassie

    This is a situation that seems to be occuring more and more frequently in the 21st century. We try to be tolerant of other religious beliefs and respect them. Our Articles of Faith specifically tell us that everyone has the right to worship God in their own way. I would like to share a situation that occured recently with my husband’s sister. A lifelong member of the church, she always thought she would marry an RM (returned missionary) in the temple. Instead four years ago, she fell in love with a Catholic man. They are in their mid 20’s. They made the decision to have a civil marriage, and a blessing by both her father (a Bishop) and a Catholic priest (friend of the grooms’s family). They were (and are) very much in love. The problems started almost immediately however. She continued to go to church and church meetings. He would go to Mass and then go with her for Church. He thought 3 hours was ridiculous so he would stay through Fast and testimony or Sacrament and then go on home. She had been a YM teacher and felt she had to drop her calling because it was taking so much time away from the two of them. things like alcohol, coffee etc were not an issue for them. After four years I am afraid this marriage will just not make it. When at family gatherings or talks (large LDS family) when there is talk of temple marriages, and eternal families she becomes very sad and leaves the room. He doesn’t understand why it is “such a big deal” to her. He doesn’t believe marriage contin ues beyond the grave and can’t understand why we make sure a “big deal” out of it. He has been through all the missionary lessons, considers himself quite an intellecutal (he IS very intelligent and well educated with a doctoral degree in psychology at only 28.) and he believes JS and the Book of Mormon are all a big hoax if you talk with him one-on-one. He doesn’t go around “bashing” the Church for her sake, but if he talks to me and my husband about his beliefs, I know he must say the same to her in private. It is very sad. The Bible warns about being being yoked with un-believers, I think for a reason. In the LDS church it is not just our religion, it is our life. Callings, Family Home Evenings, Church meetings, Temple Marriages, Eternal Families, they are all tied together. I would advise anyone against marrying an LDS person unless they are seriously interested in converting. He told my husband that he is seriously converting “in name only” just so she can have her temple marriage . He says “what difference does it make? I don’t believe it anyway but I could pretend to do so for her sake”. since it is all such “hoopla” to me anyway, I don’t have a problem with doing “whatever it takes” to make her happy. It is just not a good situation.

  9. Christin

    I am currently dating a wonderful Mormon guy and I am a baptist. We have talked about the differences in our faith and he claims that it doesn’t bother him, but it really bothers me that we don’t have the same beliefs. Even though it bothers me I don’t want to let him go. Do you think that we will have difficulties if we get married and have children? Because I know that I am going to want to raise them in my church and he in his. I know that he wants to be sealed and eternally bonded but I am not Lds. Do you have any advice for me?

  10. Tom Jones

    You must speak with a few folks who are experiencing what you are contemplating. I’m one. You can call me at 727-667-4112

  11. Thaddeus

    Christin, I would look into option #2 in my article above. Perhaps this is a message from the Lord for you. It can’t hurt to investigate the Church with the full-time missionaries; at the very least, you’ll understand your boyfriend a lot better.

    If, after you’ve studied all the missionary lessons, you still feel God directing you to be a Baptist, then go with God. Maybe you could ask your boyfriend to do some studying there as well.

    Just don’t jump into marriage thinking the problems will go away.

  12. Rocha

    I am having the same problem. I am in love with a LDS guy. It’s so hard for me to find someone so special, and when I find it, we have the religion making us being apart of each other. But I don’t wanna give up on us. I love him so much. I already had lessons with the Elders, but it just doesn’t stick. But i know we are going to take different paths. I am so sad, it just hurts a lot. I accept him as he is, but I don’t think this is mutual… :,(

  13. Tom Jones

    Rocha, Let’s talk. [email protected]

  14. Stephanie

    My mother is LDS, and my father is not. Although he is not devoted into any other faith but yet lives a clean and moral lifestyle, there are a lot of hardships involved.

    My father often feels left out as my mother takes me and my two siblings to church each Sunday. It is often hard for him to listen to talk about Church in the home, for he feels seperate and alone. My siblings and I have made many efforts to invite him to church and join his family…but he will not budge. He doesn’t even oppose our church, and he even shares some similar beliefs with us, but for whatever reason, he just will not come to Church on Sunday.

    It is EXACTLY what Thaddeus had said: “The Mormon usually leads life pining for a relationship with eternal promise and despairing that it isn’t happening” while “the non-Mormon feels constant pressure to convert and becomes annoyed that the problem doesn’t go away.” I promise you, at least in my case and many many others, that this is true. My father has been under pressure for so many years, that his heart has hardened to the idea of conversion. My mother has always hoped that he would come around, but disappointment came instead. It has heavy strains on their relationship, and as their daughter, I can swear to you that it hurts.

    It has a bigger effect than you realize. It WILL affect your children. I can guarantee it. Because my parents are not sealed in the temple, I have no idea what to expect when my time comes to get married. I do not know how to raise a home that is strong in a faith. I am not sure what religious activities to do with my children. I have never lived in a home where there was the Preisthood. I have not personally witnessed what a healthy marriage should be.

    I dread the day that when I get married in the temple that my father will not be there.  

    If you haven’t married yet, please listen to me. Do not married outside of your faith (whether you’re a nonmember marrying an LDS, or you’re an LDS and you’re marrying a nonmember), I beg you. It will be hard for both of you. Some make it work and are satisfied, but you have the potential to have such a wonderful and joyous marriage! Do not settle on just a satifactory life together. Please reconsider your relationship before going down this path. It doesn’t just affect you; your children will feel the consequences of your decision as well.

  15. Cory

    I am in a long distant relationship with an active LDS girl. She’s born into Mormonism where I was born into Methodist. But I have sought out help from a very nice pair of Missionary’s and will be converting very soon. Baptism on the 22nd of this September and looking forward to it. My issue is I’m turning 32 while my GF turned 19. There’s quite a bit of distance between ages. We’re both looking forward to meeting in a yr or so. And very much in-love (mutually). Thanks to facebook and webcam dates through Skype (voice chat client). What advice do you have for me?

  16. Thaddeus

    Congratulations on your baptism, Cory! I know you will find a comfortable home in your new faith community.

    Your age difference is pretty dramatic and that will present you with difficulties. Stay close to the Lord and communicate with each other thoroughly. Good luck!

  17. Anonymous

    Hi, I realize that this page was published a few years ago, but I thought I’d give this a shot to see if I got a response. I’m in a similar situation to the ones listed above; I’ve been dating my Mormon boyfriend for over a year now (I’m a non-member). He’s wonderful. He’s my best friend, I feel completely at home with him and love him so much. I know he feels the same about me. He’s everything that I could ever want in a partner and I know that I want to marry him someday. He’s told me that he feels the same way. The difference in religion is the only thing in our way. I believe in god, though I’m not sure that I believe in all that the LDS church does. Of course I support my boyfriend and accept all that he believes, I just don’t know where I would start in believing in what he does. I know it’s not always the best choice to change or influence your beliefs because of someone else, but I want to make it work. I want to make sure that he is the happiest man alive and that I can give him the eternal family he’s always dreamed of. I really do want to. I just don’t know how to begin to become a part of a new religion, without feeling that I’m forcing myself upon it.
    He’ll be leaving for his mission in a year or less and I just want to know that I’m making the right choice. I want to be with him for life and beyond. I just feel a bit intimidated by the LDS church and how incredibly dedicated its members are.
    Does anyone has any advice or comments to help me see my situation in a new light or to help me resolve my worries?

  18. Thaddeus

    You are afraid that if you got baptized it would be for the wrong reasons. I get that. Baptism is an important covenant with God, not a deal you negotiate with your boyfriend. It’s a sacred decision to be taken seriously.

    The best way to decide is to take the question to God. When you pray to Him, Ask Him what He wants you to do. See if this is an ordinance and covenant that will help you. If you are unsure about how to pray or how to receive revelation, invite the missionaries over to teach you. This is their job.

  19. Christin

    Dear Anonymous,
    I am in the exact same situation. I have been dating my mormon boyfriend for two years now and I can say that he is my best friend and I feel at home with him. I want to marry him someday. He’s also leaving for his mission in a year. But before you start to explore the Mormon religion, you must learn and understand your own beliefs. Look into what the Bible has to say about eternal marriage and other religions. Just make sure that if you have the missionaries over, that you are grounded in you faith with God.

    I hope for the best for you. If you’d like to talk, my email is [email protected]

  20. Anonymous

    Thank you for your advice. I appreciate it and will try my best to understand my own beliefs first, through study and prayer, in my exploration of the Mormon religion.

  21. Anonymous

    I think that religion is on this earth as a sort of guideline for people. It teaches children morals and to take responsibility for your actions. Every religion has its good teachings, but I think it’s not a good idea to take everything literally and for a fact from any church . It would be a cruel God to not grant you eternal marriage in the afterlife just because you didn’t have a temple wedding and became sealed. My spouse and I put each other before anything (even religion)and a kind and loving God sees all and will know true love when we pass on and meet him.

  22. Tom Jones

    Dear Anonymous,
    You’re right, religion is man’s way of trying to be righteous, to please God. Or, in some cases, to demonstrate that man can do it on his own, that there is no God (Buddhism). It’s important that you discover the difference between religion and a right relationship with our Creator God. He has left us with mountains of evidence of His existence and His will for our lives. He wants you to spend all of eternity with Him. He gave us His word, the Bible, and promised to protect it and be faithful to it. There is no other “scripture” or ancient writing in the world which is so well attested to by historical, archaeological, prophetic, and manuscript evidence. Before you imagine what is fair and true, and what’s important in this life versus what’s important for all of eternity, it is of paramount importance that you consider what the God of all creation, Jesus Christ, said about it all.
    First of all, about eternal marriage, the Jews ask him, “Now there were seven brothers among us. The first one married and died, and since he had no children, he left his wife to his brother. The same thing happened to the second and third brother, right on down to the seventh. Finally, the woman died. Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were married to her?” Jesus replied, “You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God. At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.” (Matthew 22:25-30)
    Then, about putting your boyfriend before all else: I’m afraid that you have your priorities backwards. Your physical needs, including your relationships with other humans, will fall into place and be met when, and only when, your relationship with God is right. Sure, you can have it your way for a season. But, ultimately, once the honeymoon is over and that empty feeling that “something’s missing” gradually overtakes you, as it does everyone else; then, you’ll have a big mess to unwind.
    Why not rather be the unusual person who puts Jesus Christ first, before any religion or person, and depend on Him to live His life through you, confounding the world and leading to eternal life. Then, you will have an eternal perspective that makes dealing with earthly problems so much easier to deal with.
    The Bible does not instruct us to join a “true church”. Jesus said, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father but through me.” Now, if you believe he was a lunatic, claiming authority that he didn’t have, you can ignore him. But if you believe, as he claimed and demonstrated with many proofs, he is God Almighty, your creator, it’s time to devote yourself to following his lead in every aspect of your life. Then, just watch what He can do. My personal experience is that He is a much better Lord than I was when I was in charge of my daily decisions.

  23. Louisia

    I don’t know if you will respond, but here goes…

    For some reason, I’ve been led to this religion.

    I’m Catholic but I’m in love with a Mormon guy.

    We met during first year college. He was studying Education, while I was studying Psychology. Despite that, We frequently see each other and have similar free time.

    At first, it took me a while to know his name. (I knew his name a year after, which was the time we started sending text messages to each other) but later, I began to have feelings for him and that scared me.

    I knew that he wants to have a Temple marriage and that I tried my best to distant myself as much as I can for I know that only LDS members are allowed to enter.

    But he was pretty amazing to catch my attention very time he texts. (despite the fact that I told my feelings for him and he “friendzoned” me) That was the time when there was more to it than meeting him.

    After a year of texting, and 3 years of seeing each other. I fell deeper… that scared me even more.

    After that I started praying. I asked if there was something that I need to do. It was then I started attending the Institute of Religion in his stake and learning about his Religion.

    I am happy that he invited me and I am attending LDS History for the second semester (with him too. After reading books, watching videos (which some videos made me cry) , attending the class, and meeting new friends, I can honestly say that it is a beautiful religion. Because of that, I love him and his religion even more. (despite being one-sided, They’re both my first love)

    But, I’m scared. I’m really scared, utterly scared. Even though I’m not a devoted Catholic, I’m afraid what my family might think since they’re really devoted. I’m terrified that I will be alone if I continue going through this. I don’t know what to do now.

  24. ConvertCory

    Hey Louisia,
    I’ve taken that route a few years ago. So I have some input that may help (hopefully). I mmet a girl online an her and her family are all devoted LDS members. We talked for months an with each day we grew closer. Well, marriage came up an me knowing she was Mormon kinda made things awkward. For the both of us. She taught me a whole lot about the religion/lifestyle. It really isn’t just a religion. But in taking in everything, it’s really a Lifestyle change which comes with all the church members becoming an extended family.

    Long story, short, I went out (after doing my own research) and converted. I did it for her. Because as you said, to enter the Temples, you need to be LDS. Even then you require something like a “referal” from the Bishop. Forgot the actual name. Hardest part about the marriage idea is that even if you convert over to become a Mormon, you’re Catholic family members still won’t be able to attend the wedding ceremony. Something I’m not entirely willing to ignore. You really want to be 200% sure that when/if you end up converting, that it’s because it’s what YOU want for YOU. Don’t do it because of anyone else. Or you won’t forgive yourself.

    There’s so much more I can help you with if you have any questions, I’m always around. Here’s my email. Cjsweetsir11[email protected]. My relationship didn’t work out, but I hope yours goes well. Hope that has helped in some way.

  25. Georgia

    Hi! I came about this site searching for answers… it’s like reading the same situation I’m in…but different.

    I fell head over heals in love with an LDS member…I’m not. As soon as we started off dating I told him I’m a christian and my beliefs and all about the “unequally yoked with an unbeliever”… we still went ahead and carried out a beautiful relationship. I ended it though because I felt too much pressure with my beliefs…I had gone with him to Sunday meetings…even the investigator thing…but its all different beliefs that collide with what I believe..I even asked him to contact some missionaries so I could learn but…it just isn’t in me… did the reading and the praying…he also came to my church many times and by fear of loosing me when I ended everything he even took classes from my church but I suppose that me telling him that kind of conversion isn’t correct kind of drew us apart…you don’t convert to any faith for a person unless you feel moved by God and your touched within your heart that you know its the Truth…otherwise its useless…

    We ended up a few months later reuniting…we really felt miserable without each other and I cannot see my life without him and he has told me the same. We really want to be together and have a family.

    I grew in a faith divided home…I don’t want to have my children in the same way…I want my husband and I to be of the same faith and bring them up in unity… go to church together and raise them together.

    He is currently serving a mission and I promised him I’d wait for him. I feel I may not be of much help to him…I have spoken to a few RMs and they say they have to be 100% focused on the mission and not be distracted by a gf none the less a non-mormon. It is heart breaking. I really want his best interest.

    Even if I converted for him…it wouldn’t be right. Marriage would be sad…my parents wouldn’t be able to attend the temple sealing and they should be able too…they are my parents and the most important persons in my life. He says they can be at the civil marriage but I believe my parents should be part of all civil and religious ceremony because they are important.

    I miss him so much. He is my best friend…even through all we have been through. I just don’t know what to do anymore. Should I stop writting to him…saying I miss him and love him and let him concentrate on his mission and find a mormon RM girl he can marry and be sealed with?

    I’d appreciate any inputs.
    Thanks for reading!

  26. Christin

    Dear Georgia,

    I completely understand your situation! I’m currently in a similar predicament. But you have to remember that the right answers will only come from God. You’re right! Converting is not something to be taken lightly and you need to continue to pray and ask God to guide you through this! I know from experience that if it isn’t right, you’ll know. I too am a Christian in love with a Mormon who will soon be leaving for his mission. He’s been my boyfriend and best friend for many years and it hurts me very deeply to think that we can’t be together… but I know deep down in my heart that love is not enough to overcome such a big difference. You have to seriously think about the future that you want for yourself and your future children. Make sure that you are sure about your beliefs and stand by them. God must come first, even in marriage, or you will not be happy. Pray about it! Look into what the bible says and compare your beliefs to his. You will find your answer. I pray that you make the right choice and find happiness.

  27. Tom Jones

    Dear Georgia,
    I believe you can find out whether you and/or your boyfriend are both interested in actually following the truth, no matter where it leads, as opposed to simply reacting to your feelings for each other and your Creator. There’s a very important brochure titled “Before 1921 LDS and Evangelicals agreed on three basic Christian truths… What happened?”. This brochure documents the title and you both can decide for yourselves whether you want to accept the truth which is very easy to discern when you examine the documentation. It’s not much to read and so well worth it. You can read the brochure online or download it and print it out free at http://crcmin.org/pdfs/brochures/Before_1921e.pdf . May the Lord bless you in your search for truth and give you the courage to accept it when you find it.

  28. Tom Jones

    I hope you will consider what your relationship is to Jesus Christ before considering any religion. His truth is true, no matter what church you attend for worship. But many churches worship a different god and even a different Jesus. What you believe will determine where you spend eternity. The genuine Jesus Christ of the Bible said that if you don’t believe he is who he claimed to be, you will die in your sins. And you must love him before any girlfriend or spouse or father or mother. Here’s a link to a brochure you can read which lays out the plan of salvation directly from the Bible. It’s titled “Heavenly Father’s Plan for You… according to the Bible”. I hope you will read it and follow the genuine Jesus to eternal life – http://crcmin.org/pdfs/brochures/to%20be%20changed/FathersPlan06e%20tract.pdf and stop worrying about religion. When you are following Jesus Christ, you will automatically gravitate towards a Biblically based church which is teaching the truth.

  29. Bill


    I know this is an old post, and so I’m not sure that anyone is still listening, but I thought I’d add my two cents.

    I just wanted to say that I am inexpressibly grateful for the knowledge that God loves us so much to give us blessings like marriage (both in this life and in the life to come) and living prophets through whom we can learn about things like this. As other commenters have said, Jesus is “the way, the truth, and the life” (John 14:6). God must always be our absolute FIRST priority. It is through Him and His revelations that we can learn about and come closer to Him. (See also Jacob 4:8.)

    Without revelation to God’s prophets (both ancient and modern), which the Lord will confirm by personal revelation in answer to prayer (see John 14:26, Moroni 10:4-5, Doctrine and Covenants 8:2), it would be impossible to know any of this.

    Similarly, I would say for anyone struggling with this difficult situation (and it IS a difficult situation), seek that same revelation. There are people who have made interfaith marriages work (it’s HARD, but it can work), and there are people who try it, only to have it fall apart. (There are people who go into a same-faith marriage, only to have it fall apart too. Marriage in general is hard.)

    Personally, I completely agree with the analysis in the blog post. I would just add to really, earnestly, and totally try to seek the Lord’s will for you and your significant other and your lives (both now and in eternity). Prayer is always the right option.

    After the Savior taught about receiving answers to prayer (see John 14:26), He taught about the blessing that can come when we follow them: “Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” (John 14:27).

  30. Tom Jones

    Bill, This seems like a good time to repeat a comment that I made, above— it is of paramount importance that you consider what the God of all creation, Jesus Christ, said about it all.
    First of all, about eternal marriage, the Jews ask him, “Now there were seven brothers among us. The first one married and died, and since he had no children, he left his wife to his brother. The same thing happened to the second and third brother, right on down to the seventh. Finally, the woman died. Now then, at the resurrection, whose wife will she be of the seven, since all of them were married to her?” Jesus replied, “You are in error because you do not know the Scriptures or the power of God. At the resurrection people will neither marry nor be given in marriage; they will be like the angels in heaven.” (Matthew 22:25-30)

  31. Marie

    For those who are in love with an LDS member,

    To whom you are in love, you are pleased with their characters and attributes which made you liked him/her. Haven’t you thought that, their religion and beliefs made them who they are. (Because their religion makes their faith stronger and changed them the way they act and think etc.)

    If not because of their beliefs, Im pretty sure they have a different character from what they are now. I wanted to pointed out that their good behaviors and pleasing attributes was being shaped because of their religion.

    Would you still like him/her if he’s/she’s totally different person from the time you meet and know em?

    Therefore, if you love a person, try to scrutinized the things he/she loves. Understand what shapes him/her that made you love her/him.

    In case you choose to not love what he/she loves, then your option is to find a partner whom you accept with all your heart without a doubt and without hesitance.