An excerpt from the LDS Pamphlet For the Strength of Youth: Fulfilling Our Duty to God, pretty much sums up what Mormon’s believe regarding viewing pornography.

“Pornography in all its forms is especially dangerous and addictive. What may begin as a curious indulgence can become a destructive habit that takes control of your life. It can lead you to sexual transgression and even criminal behavior. Pornography is a poison that weakens your self-control, changes the way you see others, causes you to lose the guidance of the Spirit, and can even affect your ability to have a normal relationship with your future spouse. If you encounter pornography, turn away from it immediately.”

That sums up the church’s attitude toward pornography. There are some policy issues regarding those who indulge. Generally if a person tells their bishop that they are viewing pornography they will be denied access to holy temples and given all the help they are willing to accept to overcome the habit.

They can learn from their bishops how to repent and regain access to the atonement of Jesus Christ, which enables them to fully recover.

A: Absolutely! Any child legally adopted can be sealed to their family in the temple. I know of families who have all adopted children and some who have adopted one and added to their other children. It’s wonderful that our earthly families can be our eternal families.

Short answer: Yes.

Long answer: First of all, Mormons are Christians, but I’ll respond to the question: can a Mormon marry a non-Mormon?. The answer is yes, but that’s not the whole story. Mormons can marry whomever they please in a legally-binding ceremony, and it will be recognized by the church as as valid marriage. But Mormons also have a ceremony unique to Mormonism called a “sealing”, where a Mormon couple can be married “for time and all eternity” (no “till death do you part” involved). These ceremonies are performed in temples, and like all temple ceremonies are only available to active Mormons. Being sealed is a very important thing in our religion, so interfaith marriages are usually the exception rather than the rule.

More on the subject of Mormons and marriage:
I’m in love with a Mormon: what now?

Can Mormons get divorced?

Why temple marriage?

Jeff Lindsay’s Love, Dating, Marriage, and Morality: The Latter-Day Saint Way

We try to practice the teaching of Christ when he said “hold up your light that it may shine unto the world… I have commanded that none of you should go away, but rather have commanded that ye should come unto me.” Most faithful members of our church are more than willing to share their beliefs with any soul who shows even a little interest. Try letting your friend know that you really are curious, and ask specific questions. Hopefully he’ll open up.

We certainly have no secrecy code. That being said, if an experience is very sacred (e.g. temple worship), it “must be spoken with care, and by constraint of the Spirit” (D&C 63:64).

Members can be removed from the church in one of two ways. They can request that their names be removed, or they can be ex-communicated. The latter is usually due to willful disobedience of major commandments.

See also: 2 Nephi 26:27-28, Moroni 6:7-8

In many cases members of the Church dress their relatives for the grave rather than having the funeral directors do so.  To understand why, some knowledge of the LDS temple ceremony is essential.  One purpose of the temple is to prepare a person to meet God in the afterlife, part of the process includes the wearing of certain ceremonial clothing which has significance to those who go through the temple.  So when Mormons die, if they have been through the temple and received the ordinances then they can wear the ceremonial clothing in preparation for their day of resurrection.

If a funeral director were not a member of the church he would not understand the clothing nor the significance it holds for members.  Therefore when members of the church die family members or ward leaders take on the responsibility of dressing the body.

This was a question from a reader named Jim:

I have a general question…
I currently find myself in a rather difficult situation where I (a non member) of the Church of LDS have fallen for a devout believer. This is not a whimsical interest, we have known each other for nearly a year now, it is also a mutual interest, we have discussed our feelings for each and agree that there is a real potential for a relationship.

Now as I explained before she is a devout believer. This immediately creates some obvious obstacles given the fact that I am not a member, the main ones being:
No sex before marriage
No alcohol
No tea/coffee
Restricted activities on Sundays

Now I appreciate that these are only a few of the more general restrictions/guidelines that are in place. But we talked about them. Regarding the no sex before marriage I said why not give the relationship a go, then if in six months or so time we find out we are not that compatible, we could part, but if it is going very well we can continue. I have had sex before but have also been for long periods without it, and explained to her that if we were in a serious relationship that we both thought was heading somewhere I could handle holding off having sex until we were married.  As for the other things, I feel confident that we could work around them.

Anyway, just as it looked like we were reaching a situation where we might be about to give things a go, she told me about the temple, and how in order to be sealed/united together in this life and the next you need attend a ceremony there after your civil marriage ceremony in order for this to happen.  The catch…only LDS members can enter the temple.  Now this seems to have put the brakes on anything potentially happening between us. She’s of the view (as am I) that if we start dating it would become fairly serious and could well lead to marriage, but that as I am not a member we would not be able to be sealed united at her temple.  This idea crushes her I think.  She is also concerned about the difficulties of raising a family (she wants four children) that has a parent who is not a member of LDS.  She obviously wants to give her children the opportunity to join and is worried a non-member partner would make this difficult.  I have tried saying that I don’t think this would be such an issue, although not a member of LDS I do believe in god and live a clean lifestyle that would fit in with hers.

I think she is also worried that if she did have a crisis of faith, having a husband who was not a member would be difficult as he would not understand what she was going through and offer support/advice etc. on the subject.

So anyway, I have rambled on long enough, but I do have a couple of questions for you…
1) Is there any way of being sealed/united together in life without going through a temple
2) Are there strictly no exceptions whereby a non member could enter a temple?
3) And thirdly what sort of general advice could you give us concerning the situation we find ourselves in?

Thanks for your help

-Jim

Here is my response:

Jim, thank you for your question. You seem to be very understanding and willing to be patient. I can’t say there are any easy answers, though.

1) Is there any way of being sealed/united together in life without going through a temple?

You can be united together in life without going through the temple, because the church recognizes all legal civil marriages as binding for the duration of life, “as long as you both shall live.” And such a relationship can be very rewarding, but the problem (as you already know) is that it falls short of the goal your paramour has dreamed of since she was young: “For time and for all eternity.”

It’s a powerful motivating force in my life.  My family plans on being together forever, and because of that we are interested in creating worthwhile bonds now.  It also helps us make good decisions in other areas of life, since we don’t want to diminish the family by letting our standards slip and losing our promise.  The promise is obtained through covenant with God and is known as “sealing.”

The ordinance of sealing is only performed in holy temples by men who have been authorized by God. It isn’t available anywhere else.

2) Are there strictly no exceptions whereby a non-member could enter a temple?

It’s a lovely thought to want to have this ceremony for the sake of your girlfriend, but even if you had the sealing, without you believing in it and devoting yourself to it, there is no more promise in it than a civil marriage.

Only those who have prepared themselves in every way may enter the temple, and this includes baptism for remission of sins by an authorized priest, and reception of the Holy Ghost. It also includes an interview with a Mormon bishop to ascertain faithfulness (do you hold to chastity, honesty, temperance, etc?). You must also be willing to enter into certain covenants with the Lord.

In short, even just being a member is not enough to enter the temple. I’m sorry. There are no exceptions allowing anyone unprepared (including non-members) into a temple.

3) And thirdly what sort of general advice could you give us concerning the situation we find ourselves in?

There are three distinct scenarios I can see. It depends on how strongly you and she are willing to pull.

1. You marry civilly “until death do you part”
2. You receive baptism and prepare yourself for eternal marriage.
3. You split up.

#3 (split up) will happen if you decide against converting and she doesn’t give up her desire for eternal family. You might each still find a mate compatible with your ideals, so it’s not all bad, but obviously not what you want to hear.

#1 (civil marriage) is a possibility.  A quick visit to the local Justice of the Peace will have you married in the eyes of the law.  Plenty of latter-day saints belong to part-member families and many have found a way to “make it work,” but the heart of the issue isn’t the same as any other interfaith marriage.  It goes beyond being able to understand your spouse’s religion and deciding on where to take the kids on Sunday.  To a Mormon, marriage itself is a fundamental part of the gospel and the crowning glory associated with salvation.

She would see a civil marriage as compromising her long-standing commitment to herself and to God to be sealed for all eternity.  It would certainly be difficult for her, as you pointed out, Jim.  She may harbor secret hopes that you will eventually come around and join the Church after perhaps years of marriage; also, after your death she may wish to have you sealed to her by proxy — after a baptism for the dead. But even that is contingent on your posthumous desire for it. If you didn’t want it in life, it’s unlikely you’ll change your mind the minute you die. And without your permission, it will not be binding.

I do not endorse a civil interfaith marriage with a Mormon.  Not for you or anyone that is in any position to choose it.  The Mormon usually leads life pining for a relationship with eternal promise and despairing that it isn’t happening; often they let themselves slip away from God.  The non-Mormon feels constant pressure to convert and becomes annoyed that the problem doesn’t go away.  I’ve seen too many problem relationships.  If this heartache can be prevented, I advocate preventing it.

Such a marriage does not solve the problem you are facing right now, Jim.  It only delays solving it.  It will present you every morning with the same dilemma:  ask her to surrender hope for an eternal family, get yourself to convert, or dissolve the relationship.  Avoiding the question is to choose the first option.

#2 (eternal marriage) can happen if you allow yourself to investigate the religion seriously. This is the path that I advise. Invite the missionaries over for a few lessons and read the Book of Mormon with them.  After learning a bit more about the Church and understanding why we believe the things we do, you might find your original notions of Mormonism misplaced.  People usually find the missionaries’ lessons much more substantive and credible than they anticipate.

You indicated that you have faith in God, which is essential. Believe that He will answer your prayers, and ask Him whether you should join.  Believe that He will give you the desire for eternal family that will lead you to unite with her forever.

Jim, I hope I’ve added some clarity to your dilemma. I hope you can see it from her side as well. Meditate on it and pray for guidance. I know the Lord will answer. He answers my prayers frequently.

I’d also invite you to look around at our website. You might find some more answers there. And you are always welcome to email me directly. In fact, I’d very much like to know what you decide.

-Thaddeus

First, to understand this situation, an understanding must be had of sealing and of work for the dead.

Briefly put, sealing is the term used for being married in the temple.  It is an ordinance performed that binds a man and woman together not just til “death do they part”, but for time and all eternity.  Read more about this subject here.

The word “vicariously” in the question refers to the fact that God has given man power to perform sacred ordinances  for the dead who did not receive those ordinances while they were alive.  Thus, as Paul alludes to in I Corinthians 15:29, we can be baptized for those who did not receive that opportunity during their time on Earth.  Similarly, we can perform sealings for deceased couples.  Read more about this subject here.

On to the question at hand.  What if that couple who is sealed together didn’t want to be sealed together?  Are they going to have to just put up with each other F-O-R-E-V-E-R?  For instance, if King Henry VIII was vicariously sealed to his wife Anne Boleyn, would she just have to overlook the cruelty and death she suffered at his hand?  No.  Common sense and truth coincide nicely for us here.  As lds.org, the official website of the church, explains:

Some people have misunderstood that when baptisms for the dead are performed, deceased persons are baptized into the Church against their will. This is not the case. Each individual has agency, or the right to choose. The validity of a baptism for the dead depends on the deceased person accepting it and choosing to accept and follow the Savior while residing in the spirit world. The names of deceased persons are not added to the membership records of the Church. (cited from this webpage, under heading entitled “Additional Information”)

But I say, to avoid any such confusing situations, how about we all just love our spouses and desire to be with them for eternity?  In fact, if you, my article-reading friend, happen to be married I challenge you, right now, to think of one nice thing you can do for your spouse today.  Now go and do and have a wonderful day.

Heavenly Father has prepared another chance for them to hear the gospel and choose to accept or reject it.

The official Church website explains:  “Jesus Christ taught that baptism is essential to the salvation of all who have lived on earth (see John 3:5)  Many people, however, have died without being baptized.  Others were baptized without proper authority.  Because God is merciful, He has prepared a way for all people to receive the blessings of baptism.  By performing proxy baptisms in behalf of those who have died, Church members offer these blessings to deceased ancestors.  Individuals can then choose to accept or reject what has been done in their behalf.”

Baptism is the first ordinance of the gospel.  It is so important that even Jesus Christ asked to be baptized in order to fulfill all righteousness.  Because Heavenly Father desires for us all to return to Him, He has made it possible for the dead to have the same opportunities as the living through the temple ordinances.

Some have the misconception that this temple work forces the deceased persons into covenants against their will.  This is entirely false.  All spirits maintain their free will after death and can opt to accept or refuse the ordinance of baptism.  When a living person is baptized and receives the Gift of the Holy Ghost in behalf of a deceased person, it is only to give the deceased person the opportunity – the option of redemption.

LDS.org also reveals:  “Many in the spirit world embrace the gospel. However, they cannot receive priesthood ordinances for themselves because they do not have physical bodies. In holy temples, we have the privilege of receiving ordinances in their behalf. These ordinances include baptism, confirmation, Melchizedek Priesthood ordination (for men), the endowment, the marriage sealing, and the sealing of children to parents. The Lord revealed this work to the Prophet Joseph Smith, restoring a practice that had been revealed to Christians shortly after the Resurrection of Jesus Christ (see 1 Corinthians 15:29).

Part of the mission of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is to Redeem the Dead.  Because of this, we participate in genealogy/family history work to find our ancestors who were not able to hear and accept the gospel while on earth.  Many in my family are involved in this work because of our desire to turn the hearts of the fathers to the children and the children to their fathers as mentioned at the very end of the old testament.

I love going to the temple.  There is such a special feeling that accompanies me when I’m in the House of the Lord.  Doing the physical ordinances for my ancestors who have passed on is an amazing experience because I know that many of them have been waiting for hundreds of years to finally have their baptism performed.  Being a part of their spiritual progression is remarkable.  I know that God is merciful and mindful of each of us because He gives everyone a fair chance at accepting or rejecting the message of the gospel.

We Mormons are usually pretty understanding and thick-skinned when it comes to questions about our faith, but it is offensive to us when some of our most sacred concepts are treated lightly.  The holy garment is one example.

When I hear it called “magical underpants” I cringe.  I realize you had no ill-intent; you were probably just repeating someone else’s words, but I hope to convey that sacred things need to be treated with dignity and respect.

The holy garment is clothing worn beneath street clothes of latter-day saints who have gone to the temple.  When we go to the temple for the first time, we enter into an important covenant with the Lord.  We promise, basically, that we will live in obedience to the Lord through sacrifice, purity, and giving.  The Lord promises protection from temptation and physical harm, as well as a place at His right hand (if we honor our part of the covenant).

The garment is provided as part of that protection from temptation and physical harm.  It is also a daily reminder of these promises we’ve made, much the same way a wedding ring reminds a man to devote himself to the vows he made to his wife.

Another part of the covenant is that we keep our covenants and our garments sacred and holy.  There is a reason we don’t display them on the outside of our clothes.  It’s the same reason a Mormon might balk at your question.  Jesus taught on the mount, “Give not that which is holy unto the dogs, neither cast ye your pearls before swine, lest they trample them under their feet, and turn again and rend you” (Matthew 7:6).

And in case you think this is some sort of exclusive secret club, know that we want you to join us and enter into these same covenants with the Lord.  You are invited!

Boyd K. Packer, the current president of the Quorum of the Twelve apostles gave this invitation (emphasis is mine):

“The ordinances and ceremonies of the temple are simple. They are beautiful. They are sacred. They are kept confidential lest they be given to those who are unprepared. Curiosity is not a preparation. Deep interest itself is not a preparation. Preparation for the ordinances includes preliminary steps: faith, repentance, baptism, confirmation, worthiness, a maturity and dignity worthy of one who comes invited as a guest into the house of the Lord.

“All who are worthy and qualify in every way may enter the temple, there to be introduced to the sacred rites and ordinances” (The Holy Temple, Packer 1995).

The garment means a lot to those who wear it, but it isn’t meant to be shown to the world.  Please be one of our few allies in showing respect for our sacred things.

As I taught the gospel in Russia, however, I understood better that these weren’t three separate entities that we were supposed to divide our time and attention between. These are all part of the main mission of the church:
Bringing people to Christ. This is the ultimate goal of Christ’s church, and it applies to every person on the face of the earth.

Perfecting the Saints is the broad label given to all of the ordinances and activities of the Church. It comes from Christ’s directive both in Matthew and in the Book of Mormon to “Be ye therefore perfect, [even as I] or your Father in Heaven is perfect.” In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, believers and members of the Church are called “Saints”. Yes, just everyday people in the grocery store are Saints. In this context, Saints are those who are following Christ’s teachings and trying very hard to live as He has asked them to live. Perfecting the Saints is no easy task, and here are some of the ways that Saints cooperate with Christ in perfecting themselves:

• Sincerely praying and studying the word of God.
• Attending the temple to make covenants with God.
• Attending weekly church meetings
• Volunteering to serve in any number of “callings” in their congregation. From the leader of the congregation right down to the person collecting lesson manuals after class, everyone is donating their time, energy and talents to serve the Lord and each other. We don’t have a paid clergy.
• Striving to have strong families through Family Home Evening, family prayer, family vacations, family meals, family reunions, and just generally supporting and loving each other in the family.
• Living the commandments as found here, here and here.

We truly believe that in doing what Christ has asked us to do, we draw nearer to Him and as we are closer to Him, we are more perfect. That’s what this life is all about.

Proclaim the Gospel addresses the next group of people who need to come to Christ–those who aren’t already members of His church. The LDS Church has thousands of missionaries all over the world, teaching Christ’s doctrines to cossacks, Buddhists, ninjas and pygmies, and everyone else in between. Every single person on this earth is invited to come unto Christ and be perfected in Him. This aspect of Church activities is very much tied in with the first mission of perfecting the saints, because when a person is baptized into the church, they are one step closer to Christ.

Redeeming the Dead strikes people as one of the most bizarre of our doctrines. We do temple work for our deceased ancestors so that they can choose to accept the ordinances in the spirit world (if they wish to–our ordinances are not binding on them if they don’t want them). But in the context of bringing every single person to Christ, this practice fits perfectly. The church was restored on the earth in 1830, 1750 years after Christ’s Church and its authority disappeared from the earth. There were a lot of people in those 1750 years, and they are each, individually important to Christ. He atoned for them too, and if they are to benefit from His sacrifice, they need to do what He’s asked them to do to be admitted into His church (baptism by immersion, followed by higher ordinances and covenants). He asks members of His church to reach out to those who have passed on as well as to the living.

So that sums up all of the Church’s activities and programs. Christ wants us all to come unto Him and be perfected in Him. For members of the church, that involves living His commandments and serving others. Some of that service is directed at helping other people join His church also to come unto Him and be perfected in Him–living and dead.