An excerpt from the LDS Pamphlet For the Strength of Youth: Fulfilling Our Duty to God, pretty much sums up what Mormon’s believe regarding viewing pornography.

“Pornography in all its forms is especially dangerous and addictive. What may begin as a curious indulgence can become a destructive habit that takes control of your life. It can lead you to sexual transgression and even criminal behavior. Pornography is a poison that weakens your self-control, changes the way you see others, causes you to lose the guidance of the Spirit, and can even affect your ability to have a normal relationship with your future spouse. If you encounter pornography, turn away from it immediately.”

That sums up the church’s attitude toward pornography. There are some policy issues regarding those who indulge. Generally if a person tells their bishop that they are viewing pornography they will be denied access to holy temples and given all the help they are willing to accept to overcome the habit.

They can learn from their bishops how to repent and regain access to the atonement of Jesus Christ, which enables them to fully recover.

We occasionally get the following question:

Is green tea against the word of wisdom?

A simple yes or no question, right? Here are a couple more in the same vein:

Do you have a statement that has been issued by the First Presidency regarding the usage of decaffeinated green tea either as a drink or in a vitamin formula.

I’m a little confused about Green Tea. Some members say they avoid it as it is breaking the Word of Wisdom. Yet others say it is totally fine, a much healthier alternative to soda. I’ve seen other members drinking those popular tall green cans, including my bishop. I’ve wanted to ask him about it, but didn’t really want to put him on the spot. I found this site and thought it a perfect opportunity to ask. What do you think?

Because this website is devoted to answering questions posed primarily by non-latter-day saints, we’ve generally kept ourselves out of debates that take place within the Church. For one thing, if it’s an unsettled issue among Mormons, that usually means there isn’t a definitive answer. We also strive to represent ourselves as “typical” Mormons, which means when we pick a side on some issue, we might be misrepresenting faithful Mormons who believe differently.

Since this is a persistent question and it pertains to the requirements for baptism, I’ll do my best to clear out some of the weeds surrounding this issue, but keep in mind that the truly “perfect opportunity” to discuss it is, in fact, in counsel with your bishop.

Hot Drinks and the Word of Wisdom

The Word of Wisdom refers to the dietary restrictions the Lord revealed to Joseph Smith in D&C 89. It includes a prohibition against tobacco, “strong drinks” (alcohol), and “hot drinks,” as well as recommendations for eating herbs, fruits, grains, and meat (sparingly).

Following this revelation, there was some dispute among Church members about what exactly was meant by “hot drinks.” Tea? Coffee? Soup? Eventually, in 1842 Joseph Smith’s brother and fellow Church leader Hyrum Smith gave a sermon and clarified the matter in this way: “And again ‘hot drinks are not for the body, or belly;’ there are many who wonder what this can mean; whether it refers to tea, or coffee, or not. I say it does refer to tea, and coffee.”

Modern Church leaders have not offered any more definitive interpretations on which kinds of tea might be permissible. The most recent handbook just says, “The only official interpretation of “hot drinks” (D&C 89:9) in the Word of Wisdom is the statement made by early Church leaders that the term “hot drinks” means tea and coffee.”

This open-endedness has led Latter-day Saints to speculate about what exactly is in tea and coffee that is harmful. Is it the caffeine? The tannic acid? The high temperature? If it is the caffeine (a common speculation), then should we also shun colas, energy drinks, and chocolate? Is decaf okay?

The First Presidency gave a statement on cola in 1973, “With reference to cola drinks, the Church has never officially taken a position on this matter, but the leaders of the Church have advised, and we do now specifically advise, against the use of any drink containing harmful habit-forming drugs under circumstances that would result in acquiring the habit. Any beverage that contains ingredients harmful to the body should be avoided.”

Why it Matters

Latter-day Saints know that typically, where there is no specific direction on a given subject, we are left to our own judgment, guided by principles instead of rigid rules. This idea can be seen in the cola policy above; it’s not about setting and enforcing unyielding boundaries, but keeping ourselves un-addicted and healthy.

This would normally be a non-issue, then. Each member has access to personal revelation through the gift of the Holy Ghost and to scriptural principles that would guide them to a self-imposed standard that may legitimately vary from person to person.

But tea is not an entirely personal decision. In preparing to be baptized or to enter the temple, a priesthood leader interviews you for worthiness. One of the questions is about your understanding of the Word of Wisdom and whether you are living by it. A wrong answer could keep you from baptism or temple worship or perhaps make a liar out of you. Additionally, depending on your location, green tea may be a huge part of your culture and a cherished tradition. Abstaining could have significant ramifications on personal and business relationships. It is a pivotal decision for some, and wondering about green tea isn’t necessarily just “straining at a gnat,” as those who dismiss the question might uncharitably assume.

Our task, then, is to discover for ourselves a personal rubric for tea-selection, which must be in line with Church guidelines (note: there maybe more than one rubric that is acceptable, there are definitely many that are unacceptable, and we are not charged with creating a rubric for all members). Developing our rubric involves getting educated: learn what makes tea tea, read this article, study other relevant materials. It also involves searching for eternal principles upon which to build your decision, which can be found in scriptures and conference talks and in personal prayer.

The Practice

In the absence of authoritative direction, I thought I would try to see what Latter-day Saints actually do and learn about their guiding motivations for their tea selections. I created a survey, and asked a sample of 86 people who ran across this site or who are my friends on Facebook to take it (we can therefore extrapolate these findings to the general population of people who frequent this site or who are my friends on Facebook).

I listed as many different kinds of tea as I could think of (with the help of Wikipedia). Here are a few of the statistics. The following were asked of latter-day saints:

The first chart shows those teas that Church members believe to be prohibited for temple worthiness, the second chart shows teas that are believed to be expressly permitted. The clear front-runners to avoid are black, green, and iced teas, while peppermint and chamomile rank pretty high on the allowed list. The lesser-known ones (white, oolong, masala chai, yerba maté, rooibos) were a mixed bag, probably just because they are less familiar. Many surveyees added the write-in candidate “herbal tea” as a permitted type, which actually includes peppermint and chamomile (I couldn’t include all herbal teas in my list because there are infinitely many).

Exactly half of the members I surveyed were returned full-time proselyting missionaries. Missionaries have the unique responsibility of ushering converts into the church and they probably deal with this question of tea-types more regularly than any bishop or stake president. I asked them which types of tea they taught their converts they needed to avoid and which were allowed:

Basically, the same trends as before, but these answers look a little more confident.

Next, I asked how much allure tea had for them:

This is the sentiment that (in my experience) most Mormons have about tea. They just don’t give it much thought. It isn’t on their radar.

I also asked the ten non-Mormons who took the quiz a few questions. The sample size isn’t large enough to draw many conclusions, but I’ll post the results here for your interest.

I also asked members what their guiding philosophy was for selecting the tea that they did. This is where the real insight came. Since this was an essay question, I extracted the basic gist of their reason and categorized them into the following groups:

One thing you might notice from this is that the first two categories (made from the tea leaf and herbal tea) essentially draw the same line in the sand. Of the teas I listed in my survey, black, green, white, oolong, and iced teas are made with the leaf of the tea plant (Camellia sinensis). All the rest are “herbal teas,” according to Wikipedia’s (somewhat limey) definition: “A herbal tea, tisane, or ptisan is a herbal or plant infusion and usually not made from the leaves of the tea bush. Typically, herbal tea is simply the combination of boiling water and dried fruits, flowers or herbs.”

I got a lot of good, thoughtful responses for this question. I’ll provide a few of them here.

Jethro: “I am not very critical about it, I guess. I generally stay away from hot teas, and ice teas unless they are prepared by a trusted (usually Mormon) lady, who usually accompanies the tea with some kind of reassuring “here, this will make you feel better”.”

Steve: “I just don’t drink tea.  I even avoid wearing tea-shirts.
“I did some searching on LDS.org for green tea and I only found one article from 1985ish.  It was a story of some missionaries in Japan looking for an apartment to rent.  Spoiler Alert:  They found one.”

Anonymous: “I was told once by someone or other that tea is only forbidden if it’s made with tea leaves; herbal teas and the like are fine. However, this came from a layperson, not from anyone in authority, and trying to pinpoint the forbidden ingredient in tea seems rather like the stance some people take that because coffee has caffeine, caffeine must be forbidden in all its forms. It’s entirely possible that this is true, of course, but the fact is that we simply don’t know. So for me, I drink herbal tea very occasionally when someone else is offering it, when it’s an innocuous-seeming variety like blueberry, and when it would be rude to refuse, but that’s all. My refusal is made easier by the fact that I do not like the taste of any tea I have tried.
“From what I have seen of other people’s tea drinking habits, I’d say a fair number also draw the line between herbal tea and tea tea. I don’t think that any type of tea has been explicitly allowed.”

Orpha: “It must be an herbal ‘tea,’ (which is not actually a tea), which means it will be caffeine-FREE, ingredients clearly listed. I drink herbal tea occasionally, sometimes in spurts, but especially to soothe a sore throat, help clear congestion, or to help me warm up after being outside in the cold.”

Nefi: “If the tea is herbal it is ok.  ’Herbal’ means if it has a cute teddy bear in pajamas and it says something like ‘sleepy time’ on the box then it is ok. If I have not heard of the name or it sounds oriental with kanji on the box and no cute pictures then it is not ok.”

Willie: “I can’t claim to know which sort of tea is acceptable or not according to the standards.  I have never read the standards.
“As for me, I just stay away from all teas and then I’m sure that I’ll be just fine.  I’ve been healthy enough this far into my life that drinking tea for any ‘health benefits’ isn’t going to sell me on it either.”

Andrew: “I try to follow the promptings of the Spirit. If the tea makes me feel uncomfortable, then I don’t drink it. When I was in Japan I drank a tea that a member said was okay to drink and it felt wrong to me. I took a look at the ingredients and one of them was Green Tea powder, so I stopped drinking it. Following the Spirit has always served me well.”

It was interesting to see the variety of opinions on this, as well as the emergent themes. None of these opinions are authoritative, and they each spoke only for the bar they set for themselves, not what they would impose on the whole Church.

I can’t draw any firm conclusions from this data on how to construct your rubric. As one respondent put it, “popular opinion does not a standard make.” Still, I think it is a good idea to take inventory of this issue once in awhile, and it would be good to use the data in drawing your own personal conclusions.

The Principles

As I mentioned earlier, in the absence of specific proscriptions, we must learn all we can about the issue and be guided by principles instead of governed by rules. Here is a short list of some principles to keep in mind when selecting which teas to avoid and which to accept:

• Avoid addiction. This isn’t just a good idea, it’s fundamental to the purpose of life. We cannot hope to overcome the tests of life if we have already sacrificed our free will to some unholy Mammon. Bear in mind also, that the addict rarely recognizes his own addiction.
• Health. This is one of the promised blessings for those who obey the Word of Wisdom, and as I quoted the First Presidency saying earlier, “Any beverage that contains ingredients harmful to the body should be avoided.”
• Covenant. Another of the blessings promised is that the “destroying angel will pass by them and not slay them” (D&C 89:21). This is a reference to the first passover in Egypt when the Israelites publicly displayed their covenant status and their faith in Jehovah by painting their door posts with lambs’ blood; then the destroyer “passed over” them (Exodus 12:23). Maybe, like painting your house with blood, certain tea restrictions don’t make intuitive sense. And maybe there is something grander at work here.
• Obedience. The Lord is more interested in seeing our willingness to follow Him than in seeing how smart we think we are (2 Nephi 9:28-29).
• Sustaining local leaders. If you are concerned about where to draw the line, talk to your bishop about it at your next temple recommend interview. He is a judge in Israel and his judgment is authoritative. Follow his counsel.
• Unity in Zion. Be careful making yourself the exception. Remember that there are thousands of Japanese converts who took a leap of faith by abandoning a cherished cultural practice (and identity) to qualify for baptism. “For if ye are not equal in earthly things ye cannot be equal in obtaining heavenly things” (D&C 78:6).
• Personal revelation. If you have been baptized and confirmed, you have the gift of the Holy Ghost who “shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance” (John 14:26). Live up to your privilege and ask for revelation!

The great thing about principles is that they are widely applicable! This means you can also use these and other principles to help you in deciding what kinds of restaurants to eat at, clothing to wear, whom to vote for, and what to do with your free time. The Lord has withheld specifying rules in many cases so that we can learn to identify and adopt principles, thus becoming our own governors — becoming free. It also helps us draw closer to Him in prayer, knowing we need His personal guidance; we can’t just flip open the code book and have every eventuality spelled out for us.

This past Sunday during our worship meeting (called sacrament meeting), the speakers taught us about keeping the Sabbath day holy.  Their talks were a reminder to me of the sacredness of Sunday and what a blessing it is to keep this commandment.  I was reminded of this beautiful scripture from Isaiah 58:13-14

13 If thou turn away thy foot from the Sabbath, from doing thy pleasure on my holy day; and call the Sabbath a delight, the holy of the LORD, honourable; and shalt honor him, not doing thine own ways, nor finding thine own pleasure, nor speaking thine own words:

14 Then shalt thou delight thyself in the LORD; and I will cause thee to ride upon the high places of the earth, and feed thee with the heritage of Jacob thy father; for the mouth of the Lord hath spoken it.

Verse 13 has been a guide for me in striving to keep the Sabbath day holy.  As I have consistently sought to keep this commandment and follow Isaiah’s prescription on how to do it, I have found renewed strength, blessings too innumerable to count, even so many, that I don’t have room to receive them all, and above all, I have found peace.  I feel strongly that because I strive to keep the Sabbath day holy, I have been able to enjoy academic success in medical school while being a husband and father of three children.  I am not the smartest person in my class by a long shot, but my abilities to understand and retain information has been undoubtedly increased.  This is just one example, but there are many more–my marriage is stronger to name one specifically.  In fact, I would go so far as to say that I cannot afford to not keep the Sabbath day holy.  But, it is not just the increased understanding or my marriage that drives me, it is the assurance, peace, and joy that I feel in my life that God is truly guiding my life.  I know that I have found the strait and narrow way that leads to eternal life.

The commandment to keep the Sabbath day holy is still in effect today, just as it was in Isaiah’s day.  I urge you to think about your doings on Sunday, change if necessary, and follow Isaiah’s counsel.  Take God at his word.  Put this commandment to the test.  There will come into your life blessings that you never imagined.  The promises of the Lord and his servants are true, but it is up to you to claim them.

“He that overcometh, the same shall be clothed in white raiment; and I will not blot out his name out of the book of life, but I will confess his name before my Father, and before his angels” (Rev. 3:5).

“He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son” (Rev. 21:7).

There are numerous other references to those great people who were clothed in white, who praised God and who were blessed by Him.  What stuck out to me, however, was the statement, “and he shall be my son.”  In a previous article titled, “Is Jesus the only son of God?” on this site, the nature of our relationship between God the Father and Jesus Christ was explained.  Our opportunity to become sons and daughters of God was listed as the third point.  This is the entire reason behind our beliefs and the purpose of the Atonement of Jesus Christ.  As the apostle John wrote, “Now are we the sons of God, and it doth not yet appear what we shall be: but we know that, when he shall appear, we shall be like him; for we shall see him as he is” (1 John 3:2).  To become a son of God, in this sense, is to be like our Savior.  This is our ultimate goal for this life and all that we do ought to progress us further in pursuing that goal.

That goal, however, is impossible to achieve alone. In and of ourselves, we do not merit anything remotely approaching a return to our Father in Heaven or to be called sons of God. In spite of everything we could ever do, our mistakes and imperfections prevent us from ever returning to our God. He did not send us out from His presence for the purpose of losing us though. His perfect plan accounted for our weakness by including the infinite sacrifice of Jesus Christ.

It is through Christ’s suffering in Gesthemene and His death on the cross that He became our advocate to the Father.  Without Christ, we would have to accept all the consequences of our actions, that includes being forever separated from God.  Christ paid the price of justice on our behalf, making us debtors to Him and no longer to sin.  Sin would condemn us forever, but Christ has set His own conditions that allow us to obtain mercy.  Those conditions that He gave us are simple enough. He wants us to give Him our will, the only thing we really have of ourselves to give Him. He asked us to believe in His name, love Him, keep His commandments, enter into covenants, and to repent.

To fulfill those requirements He has given us, it first requires faith on our part.  Faith in His name and in His word causes us to follow His teachings, repenting when necessary.  Repentance leads to baptism which prepares an individual to receive the Holy Ghost.  The Holy Ghost provides the guidance we need to further emulate Christ, particularly in serving our fellow man.

When baptized, an individual makes certain covenants or agreements with the Lord.  We agree to take His name upon ourselves and to always remember Him.  Taking His name upon us is a major step in becoming a son or daughter of God.  It means to act in His behalf and do as He would do.  If we are true and faithful to His name throughout our lives, we will become like He is.  We will be like our Father, just as we are commanded to be (Matt 5:48).

This is a great truth that has sustained me in this life.  We have infinite potential!  Even the lowest, meanest person on earth is spiritually a son of God and can become like Him.  We should all take strength in this knowledge and be faithful to it.  The greatest blessings of Heaven and Earth are available to the faithful.

Behold I say unto you, that whosoever has heard the words of the prophets, yea, all the holy prophets who have prophesied concerning the coming of the Lord—I say unto you, that all those who have hearkened unto their words, and believed that the Lord would redeem his people, and have looked forward to that day for a remission of their sins, I say unto you, that these are his seed, or they are the heirs of the kingdom of God.  For these are they whose sins he has borne; these are they for whom he has died, to redeem them from their transgressions. And now, are they not his seed? -Abinadi (Mosiah 15:11-12)

First and foremost, God has a standard.  He has a way of living that He wants for us.  He has revealed, and continues to reveal, that way of living to prophets throughout the ages.  Through Moses, He instructed the children of Israel to obey a strict set of laws.  Jesus Christ instructed the Jews a different (and better) way of living that relied more on developing a good heart that dictates good actions.  I don’t doubt that that same Being inspired Buddha, Mohammad or Confucius to teach their respective peoples a better way of living.

Here’s the important part:  God does this so that His own children might be happy.  That’s right; God gives rules for you to be happy.  If He can persuade His children to lift their way of living to a higher level, even on just a single point, it brings Him joy because they are living up to a standard that is naturally better.  It isn’t so much that God will punish those who break commandments; the commandments are there to prevent actions that cause damage.  If I do action “A” then “B” will be a result.  If “B” is good, then God wishes us to do “A,” otherwise He must forbid it.

There are several problems people see with this standard.  First, they don’t see beneficial results from supposedly good actions, nor do they see bad results from bad actions.  Then they wonder why the standards are there in the first place.  Patience.  That’s why we believe in personal revelation.  We can ask our Heavenly Father if such a thing is for us.  After receiving an answer, we trust in that answer and believe that someday, somehow, that trust will be for our good.

Second, many people find themselves not living in harmony with their beliefs.  That is, everybody eventually finds themselves where their actions don’t line up with what they know they should be doing.  They then have a choice.  They could change their actions, or change their beliefs.  Either will relieve the situation and not doing either will always result in misery.  You would be the most wretched person if you constantly wish to be unchaste while acting in celibacy.  Or you could be miserable believing that you ought not to drink alcohol while sitting at the bar getting drunk.  The key is to alter the action that is keeping us from God instead giving up His standard.

Third, when we make a poor decision, we naturally are loathe to accept the consequences for that action.  We would like to get the benefit of something we didn’t do and avoid the penalty for something we did do.  It is true that Christ’s atonement allows us to repent and avoid the dire consequences of our actions, most especially being separated from God, but it is definitely easier to prevent making a mess of our lives than to work through the repentance process.  The time spent destroying spirituality could be spent building it up instead.  God’s standard helps us reap blessings with the time we have and not to spend it in trials and pain.

So in light of all this, it is imperative that each of us keep to the standard of God and stick to it.  The Atonement of Jesus Christ is there for us in our moments of weakness and to pick us up at our worst moments, if we are just willing to accept help.  It will be uncomfortable, there is no doubt there, but growth means growing pains.  The path of least resistance is quite comfortable, but doesn’t lead to the desired end.  We desire a better end, a more excellent way and one that brings a life of real joy and satisfaction.  That is why we do the things we do and try our best to live according to God’s standard.

Swimming is something we do mainly for recreation, like sailing, golfing, four-wheeling, and going to the movies.  The Lord has asked us to spend one day of our week in worship.  Recreation often distracts from this goal.  We prefer to find activities that focus our thoughts on the Savior and bring us together as families.

Is there something inherently evil about swimming?  No, but we can lose our spiritual balance when we overfill our time with fun-seeking.

The Lord instructed Joseph Smith, “That thou mayest more fully keep thyself unspotted from the world, thou shalt go to the house of prayer and offer up thy sacraments upon my holy day; for verily this is a day appointed unto you to rest from your labors, and to pay thy devotions unto the Most High” (D&C 59:9–10). Notice that there is a blessing associated with Sabbath observance, and you can choose to claim it or not.  Freedom from the ‘spots’ or moral pollutions of the world is more important to me than swimming.

The blessings of closer communion with God easily outweigh the pleasure I might get playing Marco! Polo! in the community swimming pool (called the ‘Municipool’ where I live), especially when I can enjoy a swim on six other days of the week.

The blessings are not reserved only for Mormons, either.  Give it a try and see how you feel.  See David’s excellent article on Sabbath Day worship to learn how.

The price to pay for these rewards is ourselves.  Our Heavenly Father asks us to be humble and penitent toward Him and to believe in His Son, Jesus Christ.  When we give ourselves, our will and our lives, to Christ, He gives them right back to us in a purer condition and also with His blessings.  These might be spiritual blessings such as peace in one’s heart or also blessings of prosperity and success.  It is important to realize that He allows us to retain our freedom even when we give ourselves to Him.

This is diametrically opposed to the manner the world sees it and how the world operates.  Many things petition us for our time, energy and will that will enslave us and will never set us free willingly.  I have seen families destroyed by abuse of alcohol and individuals reduced to nothing because of all kinds of destructive habits.  There is no real freedom there.

The power to free us remains in Christ.  We must choose Him to become free spiritually.  “But God did call on men, in the name of his Son, (this being the plan of redemption which was laid) saying: If ye will repent, and harden not your hearts, then will I have mercy upon you, through mine Only Begotten Son.” (Alma 12:33)  That mercy will allow us to break the chains that hold us down and to destroy habits that enslave.

All can be free through Christ.  It truly is a glorious prospect, and not one that comes easy.  It takes a sincere desire to change one’s being, from thought to action, and, more importantly, the humility to understand the powerlessness one has in a current situation.  But where there is a lack of power and ability, Christ makes up the difference.  “But behold, the Lord hath redeemed my soul from hell; I have beheld his glory, and I am encircled about eternally in the arms of his love.” (2 Nephi 1:15)  From binding chains to arms that embrace is a reality that does happen.  I know it does.  I have seen it, I have felt it and I can’t imagine a better way to show my appreciation for it than by sharing it.

As you can see, Freddy Rodriguez consistently exercised his right arm, but not his left.

It has been difficult for me to come up with a topic to write on this month.  There has been a lot of change in my and my family’s life in the last month.  Change always brings adjustment for me—adjustment to a new schedule, new places, new activities.  Interestingly, it is during these times that it is hardest for me to be consistent in those things that provide a solid foundation in my life, namely scripture study and prayer.   However, it is consistently doing the right things in life that brings the richest of experiences and the greatest of blessings.  By and large, one cannot experience the complete blessings of a commandment or good activity until it is done consistently.

When one is consistent at exercising for an extended period of time, exercise becomes an integral part of that person’s life.  Sure, one may miss a day here or there, but consistent exercise over time brings benefits that can only be known and felt by that person.  In the same manner, consistently adhering to God’s commandments, whether it is studying the scriptures daily, or being meek and lowly of heart continually, will bring blessings, peace, and joy that only that person can know.

If you don’t know what I am talking about, or have yet to experience the sweet fruit of consistency, pick a commandment that you could polish a little, or a good activity, like exercise, and live it daily.  Do it consistently for a week, then a month, then 3 months, then a year.  You will look back on that time and realize that you have truly changed, because something good; something God-like has become an integral part of you.  In some small way you will have fulfilled Christ’s commandment to “be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect” (Matthew 6:48).

Life is full of ups and downs.  At times we feel inclined to sing, rejoice and be happy.  At others times, we feel as though we are treading through paths of misery and woe.  In spite of life’s difficulties and pains, we are not meant to be continually mourning.  Our purpose here in life is actually to have joy. The prophet Lehi of the Book of Mormon stated, “Adam fell that men might be and men are that they might have joy.” (2 Nephi 2:25)  We exist in order to have joy!

While in this life, we ought to be happy and we ought to be preparing to join God in His Heaven after this life (Alma 34:32).  The two go hand in hand.  When we choose to prepare to meet God, that is, we choose to shun the evil and pursue the good, we will be more happy.  It is in God’s nature to be happy and everything that is good (including happiness) comes from God.  Obedience to the commandments and happiness are related.  Conversely, when we make poor decisions that are contrary to the commandments of God, we cannot expect to be happy forever because  wickedness never was happiness. (Alma 41:10)

Every decision we have to make has consequences.  We are allowed in this life to make our own choices but we cannot choose the consequences that our decisions incur.  Those consequences can be good and bring us knowledge, success or peace or those consequences can be just the opposite and damage the body, mind and soul.  The commandments that God has given us are guidelines of a loving parent so that we might more fully enjoy life without being encumbered with additional pains.  When we keep the commandments in our hearts and seek to obey them, God has promised a fuller and more abundant life.  They are not intended to restrict, but to free.  Milton R. Hunter, a member of the quorum of the seventy wrote in the book, ‘The Gospel through the Ages,’ the following about living life, “Religion is the highest expression of man’s will to live and to have that life more abundantly.  Religion is the outreaching of the human heart for the most worthwhile things that life offers.  In fact, it is the highest aspect of our struggle for life, beauty and happiness.”  Those commandments contained in the Bible become less of a burden and more of a joy when we realize what things are truly worthwhile in the larger scheme of things.

When considering this principle of consequences from actions, one must not assume all pain and suffering comes from bad choices.  Life is a growing experience.  God did not place us all in a static environment.  That would show nothing from us.  All people grow more when they are stretched to their limits.  “And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness.  I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them.”  (Ether 12:27)  Our real responsibility when dealing with hard times is to remember that we still control our attitude.  The way we react to situations speaks volumes of our true self.  When we have hope, we allow God to help us grow in trials.  When we despair, we are left to languish and deteriorate.

God did not intend for us to only react, however, and He has given us certain commandments that we must be charitable towards our fellow man.  “Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind.  This is the first and great commandment.  And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself“  (Matthew 22:37-39).  When we love God, we love our neighbor.  We serve him and when we serve our neighbor, we are serving our God.  (See James 1:27 and Matthew 25:34-40)

A truly full and abundant life would not be complete without our Savior, Jesus Christ.  Through His gospel, He can be a daily part of our life.  Through Him, our efforts to serve God will not be in vain.  We will grow, our fellow man will grow, and we will all be perfected in Him.  This process is continuous and does not end, even when this life will end.  Our true faith and our willingness to come to Christ will be an integral part of our life and it will show.

See “The Plan of Salvation“

The simple answer to the question is yes, but this is no place for a simple answer.  Let’s expand the question to:  “What is the religion’s stand on divorce?“  The answer in this case is:  The church wishes couples would work through their problems and stay married, but accepts the fact that divorce happens.

Marriage is a multi-level arrangement. In our current society it is a symbol of true love, the establishment of a new household, a legal partnership, and an economic contractual relationship. In other cultures a marriage may be the combining of two families households, or the woman may be nominally sold into the keeping of her husband and his family. Due to the uneven or unequal potential in the marriage relationship, religions and social customs have attempted to modify the power of the husband over the wife.  For example:

” Under Jewish law a man can divorce a woman for any reason or for no reason. The Talmud specifically states that a man can divorce a woman because she spoiled his dinner or simply because he finds another woman more attractive, the woman’s consent to the divorce is not required…This does not mean that Judaism takes divorce lightly. Many aspects of Jewish law discourage divorce… According to the Torah, divorce is accomplished simply by writing a bill of divorce, handing it to the wife, and sending her away. To prevent husbands from divorcing their wives recklessly or without proper consideration, the rabbis created complex rules regarding the process of writing the document, delivery, and acceptance. A competent rabbinical authority should be consulted for any divorce” (Judaism 101: Divorce).

When Jesus was being tempted by the Pharisees (Matthew 19), they asked him if it was lawful for a man to put away his wife for every cause. He answered with two important statements; in verse 4 he replies, “Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female.” And then in verse 8, “He saith unto them, Moses because of the hardness of your hearts suffered you to put away your wives: but from the beginning it was not so.” ["Putting away" was another term for giving the wife a writing of divorcement.]
From his reply one could get the insight that God didn’t make one sex to rule over the other, he made them both, male and female and that what Jesus was hinting at was that equal regard should be given to both. From the second comment we can see that the cultural beliefs were pretty deeply embedded among the Jews and they probably weren’t ready for the introduction of a doctrine of equality of the sexes.

In our enlightened culture we have legally, at least, attempted to deal with both sexes equally. In the last 100 years laws have changed in most countries to allow marriages to be dissolved, the immediate result is generally a rapid increase in divorce as people free themselves from relationships that were not acceptable to one or both partners. Currently in America 50% of all marriages end in divorce. In a talk by Elder Dallin H. Oaks, he tells of the sorry situation in the Philippines:

“When a marriage is dead and beyond hope of resuscitation, it is needful to have a means to end it. I saw examples of this in the Philippines. Two days after their temple marriage, a husband deserted his young wife and has not been heard from for over 10 years. A married woman fled and obtained a divorce in another country, but her husband, who remained behind, is still married in the eyes of the Philippine law. Since there is no provision for divorce in that country, these innocent victims of desertion have no way to end their married status and go forward with their lives” (Divorce, Dallin H. Oaks)

A cornerstone in Mormon doctrine is the concept of the free agency of the individual. If the church were to make a hard and fast rule or policy condemning divorce then members of the church would be in similar circumstances as people in the Philippines. They wouldn’t be able to remain members in good standing while attempting to deal with life’s problems that a bad marriage might present. The church has increasingly spoken out on the issue of divorce. Elder Oaks continues:

“I have felt impressed to speak about divorce. This is a sensitive subject because it evokes such strong emotions from persons it has touched in different ways. Some see themselves or their loved ones as the victims of divorce. Others see themselves as its beneficiaries. Some see divorce as evidence of failure. Others consider it an essential escape hatch from marriage. In one way or another, divorce touches most families in the Church. Whatever your perspective, please listen as I try to speak plainly about the effects of divorce on the eternal family relationships we seek under the gospel plan. I speak out of concern, but with hope.”

Many other leaders have spoken on the subject, for further material please go to LDS.org and search under “divorce”. A general attitude of the church leaders is that two rational people should be able to work through problems if they pray for guidance, are humble, and are willing to work hard to preserve their marriage.  As Elder Oaks says, “A good marriage does not require a perfect man or a perfect woman.  It only requires a man and a woman committed to strive together toward perfection.”  However it is not advocated that a person should stay in a marriage that is abusive or dangerous. Since the church has emphasized family so much in the last half century there is a feeling that divorced people are somehow failures and don’t fit the mold.  In the past decade there has been a greater effort toward greater inclusion and acceptance of people who are divorced.

Temple marriage adds yet another level in the complex relationship of a marriage.  It secures for the married partners certain blessings and expectations, including the promise that the marriage will last beyond the grave.  Marital fidelity is stressed and expected. Sadly, some of these marriages end up in divorce as well.  Individuals that have gotten a civil divorce can also apply for a temple cancelation of their marriage.  For anyone in that situation your local bishop can provide you with more information.  For those not in that situation, don’t worry about it, just live up to the covenants made, whether civil or religious.  Give 100% to improving the marriage, treat your partner with respect and love, and you will grow as an individual as well as a couple in the greatest adventure you’ll ever embark on.