Comments on: What Can’t Mormons Do? Part 2: The Law of Chastity

By: sasha

sasha — Thu, 26 Jan 2012 02:24:39 +0000

sunlize says ”I am totally committed to my relationship. Unfortunately my significant other and I live in different states since we’re finishing up school. There are also health insurance issues and financial issues. I think it is more responsible not to get married at this time due to those reasons then it would be to get married so that we could be sexually intimate within the bonds of marriage. ”
I believe what the Elder meant when he said that the only reason he could think of not to get married was lack of commitment, was that he could think of no reason someone would desire to have sex before they were married. He could think of no other reason someone who was ‘ready’ to have sex with their partner would not be ready to get married was that they were not ready to truly commit.

By: Bus

Bus — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 03:18:40 +0000

You are going to be alright CMarie. Once you learn about the Mormon take on baptism it will make sense. It all centers on being baptized by someone with the proper authority to perform God’s ordinances here on earth. When done with proper authority baptism has the power to cleanse a person from any previous transgressions. It is the ultimate method of repentance.
As for your other issues, keep in mind that the church is for the perfecting of its members. If they were all already perfect they wouldn’t need to be in the church. Remember Jesus said he came to work with the sinners. Part of the repentance process which is what you are doing as you prepare to be baptized and come into the church of Christ will include living what is known as the “word of wisdom” which includes giving up alcohol and tobacco, but as everyone knows in the educated world giving up those things is good for you at so many levels. I personally like a Dr. Pepper once in awhile and try not to let that become an addiction, but the Lord hasn’t said anything specific about it, I think he trusts us to realize that any addiction has a negative effect on our lives.
I wish you good luck as you learn the gospel and strive to understand what the Lord wants you to do.
Bus

By: C.Marie.11.23

C.Marie.11.23 — Mon, 25 Oct 2010 00:00:12 +0000

I’m confused. I was very spiritual when I was younger, and Baptised into the Methodist Church. I lost my faith when things got bad and turned to agnostic beliefs, extremely similar to what rebecca wrote above. I have no trust or faith anymore in anyone or anything at almost 17 years of age. I have had sex before, more than once. But I love the person who I have these relations with. My family is thinking about converting to become Mormon and renewing our faith.

We believe that we baptised into the belief of God, not into a specific church, but other members of my family believe that you’re not to be baptised more than once in your life. (Such as my grandparents, who would keel over dead if they knew we were considering another religion.) Can I be baptised again into the Mormon religion?

I will admit that at this point, my boyfriend and I are not planning on getting married anytime soon since we’re just 17 but we have been together for a while and have a serious and committed relationship. Since I’ve had sex before, will it affect my conversion?

Also, I’m addicted to Dr.Pepper and I DO drink alcohol and smoke. Will I have to stop all of this to convert?

I know that I seem like a pretty messed up kid, but I just need my questions answered.

By: Thaddeus

Thaddeus — Wed, 29 Sep 2010 22:58:08 +0000

CRH, thank you. Nothing makes me happier than reading something like this. I’m glad our humble website has played a small role as an instrument in the Lord’s hands.

By: C. R. H.

C. R. H. — Wed, 22 Sep 2010 11:24:51 +0000

Thank you so much for this article. I’m new to this all still though I’ve been baptized a few months back and this really helped me. My boyfriend and I have been struggling with sexual urges and unfortunately, though we never had intercourse, did explore more than reasonable. Though I knew it was bad logically and I pledged chastity, I don’t think the solemnity of this really sank in until I read this. He was born and raised LDS so I suppose this reflects more upon him than me (or so he seems to think), but I was not and frankly used to see nothing wrong with sexual relations before marriage. I still tended to fall into that thought pattern when with him, but this has made me so much more aware of what I’ve been doing. I know now that I haven’t tried enough to prevent such things and I’m very ashamed to learn it now. We’re going to be talking with our bishop on how to rectify this as we wish to be married in the Temple sometime in the next year, any suggestions? Once more, thank you so much. I understand now. And I feel it.

By: Linda

Linda — Thu, 02 Sep 2010 19:34:28 +0000

It’s really quite simple: you don’t have any sexual relations with anyone besides your husband or wife. Why? Because God said so! There are consequences for every choice that one makes. Our body’s are sacred to God. It would be very wise for you to go back and read this article in it’s entirety. Don’t just read the words, read to understand

By: Bus

Bus — Thu, 18 Feb 2010 22:07:23 +0000

20 years ago the church authorities were a little more specific in their questions when they interviewed members regarding their worthiness for temple recommends or priesthood advancements. The question was have you had sexual intercourse with anyone other than your spouse? But as the society got increasingly perverted and lascivious the leadership realized that they needed to broaden the question to the more encompassing “sexual relations”. Once they did that many members wanted a list of activities that would be deemed inappropriate. That kind of reasoning can be likened to the ancient Jews preoccupation with what was and wasn’t allowed on the Sabbath.

Personally I think everyone knows very well what the term sexual relations refers to but my explanation to some of the youth of the church was that if the activity is using your partner to provide you with sexual stimulation then it is not only sexual relations but selfish relations. The church doesn’t want to get pulled into a Sadducee discussion of which side of the line each action happens to be on. Their approach is to teach people how to behave in a proper and positive manner toward each other and if the person feels that what they are doing is wrong the spirit will guide them to seek clarification and direction from their local bishop.

By: ceejay

ceejay — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 23:43:42 +0000

How does a Mormon define “sexual relations”? Would that include kissing? Homosexual kissing?

Looking at cellphone photos from your girlfriend of her in a bikini? Long hugs?

What if one person feels the relation is sexual? Does the other person necessarily then define it “as sexual”?

By: rebecca

rebecca — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 01:39:28 +0000

Dave,
If i had to classify my believes, i would put them down as agnostic. I believe in scientific evidence and fact when it comes down to creation, i think evolution is fact, but i also believe god may have been behind it. And i believe the 10 commandments are excellent set of rules to live your life by. However, i think the god that is shown in the bible is not true to what actually exsists. How can god be all loving and vengefull? (thinking back to the 7 plagues of egypt, i believe a god who kills innocents to punish the parents is not worth worshipping). How can He have given us the free will to choose what path to take with our lives, if He is all knowing? I believe many contradictions lie within the bible, and hence you and I believe in 2 very differnt versions of the same god.
So when it comes down to it, i have both a spiritual and sociological point. If the god represented in the bible is the true representation, He is irrational. Hence, i believe it irrational of him to ask for two people who love each other to wait to have sex until a certificate is signed. Love should be expressed between two people in every sense while the love is still in exsistance, as love dies out of marriage and within, and is proof of gods irrationality that He does not seem to understand.
While love must be nurtured to ensure its growth, the responsibility of running a house, paying bills and the general organisation that is required is on a completely different level of maturity. Because of this, the realisation of love and the readiness for marriage and the responsibility that comes with it are on two different emotional levels.
And yes, i believe in being totally commited to one person. But i believe part of loving and being commited to that person is sharing everything with them, married or not. And if it doesn’t work out, i will regret nothing, because i celebrated love while it was alive.

By: Dave

Dave — Mon, 11 Jan 2010 00:45:30 +0000

Rebecca,

I have a question for you: when you say you disagree 100%, is it because you don’t believe in God, or that you don’t believe He has really commanded this, or that you just think the commandment itself is a little misguided?

Here’s the reason I ask: Obviously you’re not convinced by the reasons I’ve put down here. That’s ok; I don’t expect everyone to be. But you’re arguing a sociological point, where our reasons are spiritual.

That being said, I also disagree with you on a sociological level. It’s not spin when I say I genuinely don’t think you should be having sex with someone if you’re not ready for marriage. I think they represent the same commitment, and should occur on a similar level of emotional maturity. I have absolutely no sympathy whatsoever for financial arguments. For having children, maybe, but not for getting married. People have been doing this for centuries. People do this now. It works out fine.

From what you have said, it seems like we have the same basic ideal: that of sharing that kind of relationship with only one person. Being totally committed to just one person. Because I follow this law, I am guaranteed that ideal, and that makes me happy. I hope you marry your boyfriend, as you say you will. For your sake, I hope it works out.